A Twisted Fate
by EverlyYours
Summary: The untouchable concept of love is the restraint, the chains that hold them back. When thrown into the darkest of nightmares, when will salvation pull through? But the question that burns within them is: where is love, in a world filled with chaos? Host.
1. Chapter 1

"Wanda," a low voice whispered in my ear. That same voice that filled this tiny body with joy, that voice that I heard even in my sleep.  
"Wanda!" The voice said again, its tone was off, urgent and rushed.

"What is it Ian?" I asked, turning towards him. I shifted the basket of clothes to my right arm. Pet's body was very weak and it seemed the only thing I was good for was laundry and raids.  
I smiled at him, a happy smile a real smile. I stared into those blue eyes, but again something was off. The blue was hard and cold.

"What's wrong?"

He gripped my arm,

"Wanda, they found us. They're here."  
My eyes widened, we were caught.

"What?!" I gasped, call me stupid, but the news takes time to register. Those words, those dreadful words which I prayed I'd never had to hear rang through my head.

"Jared and Kyle went on raid, they didn't know they we're being fallowed, we have to get out of here."  
He pulled on my arm and I dropped the basket to the ground, the clothes spilling everywhere. He started to run through the caves, pulling me along with him. We ran until we heard voices, we froze.

"Get down." Ian hissed, and we dropped to our knees behind a boulder protruding from the wall.  
The voice were too far to hear what they were saying, their words were slurred.

"We heard their helicopter hovering above us, a few minutes ago." He whispered, he paused looking at the ground.

"The others, Ian! We have to warn them!" I almost yelled.

The talking had stopped and we heard footsteps going down the hall. Instantly Ian pulled me up and we began to run again, our footsteps echoing in the eerie halls.

"They're already evacuating. I stayed behind to get you." He said, without breaking his stride.

"They already left…" I murmured as I ran beside him. It's been a year since I was put into Pet's body, a year of bliss and love. Ian and I had grown closer each day, and each day a rope seemed to be tightened between us, tying us to each other in every way possible. Throughout my time here, I've had many friends, some more than others. Sharon and Maggie had been the most distant, but at least they didn't glare at me anymore, they learned to accept me. But for them to leave without me, the thought made my insides ache.

"They had to, or they'd die." Ian said, as if he had heard my thoughts.

"Die!" I gasped, "But you came, you came back for me."  
We paused at a wall, the sharp rocks scratching my arm.

"Of course I came back Wanderer. I love you." He whispered starring down at me.  
I smiled at him and opened my mouth to speak, but he suddenly crushed his lips to mine, so quick I didn't have time to react. He peeked over the corner of the wall, once he saw it was clear he grabbed my hand and we ran once more. We ran and we ran the walls of the cave a blur around me. Instantly, I felt tired, and my breathing came out in fast short puffs. Pet's body was weaker than Melanie's; she wasn't use to this kind of running, though you'd think after a year here I would have adjusted…

Ian, sensing my tiredness, pulled me up into his arms, carrying me to his chest like a child. He ran even faster now, without me slowing him down. We finally got outside, in the distance I could see a helicopter flying over, with a point light searching the ground. People were yelling to each other,

"Humans! Catch the humans!"  
My mouth hung open at the sight, people we're screaming, I couldn't tell who _the humans were_. Then just as suddenly he had stopped he ran into the scene, running faster than I'd ever seen him.  
In this chaos we blended in easy.

"Ian," I said, my voice shaking, "Ian, what about the others?"

I looked around at the terrorized faces of my family, they were running too.

"They're tough; right now we just need to get to the van."

Then I understood, this was the base plan. We would run, run in every direction, in hope that we would confuse them. Then pairs at a time, we'd slip into the vans waiting for us around the mountin. Pair by pair, so we wouldnt be caught. And then I remembered, there had been a flaw to this plan, that one huge deadly flaw. We needed a distraction. Not everyone would make it, people _had _to die, or even worst, get captured. The smallest and weakest would have to escape first, since we had no chance of surviving, that was me.

Thats when I saw her, my sister, Melanie.

"No!" She screamed as two Seekers pulled her into the van.  
"Jared!" She screamed again, tears streaming down her face. She kicked and lashed against the Seekers, but even for her, she was too weak.

"Ian!" I cried, I struggled in his hold, "Ian! They have Melanie, we have to save her! Save her!"  
I looked over his shoulder again, Jared was now also in their hold.

"Let her go!" He screamed, his voice booming over everyone "Let her go you can take me!"  
But I knew the Seekers wouldn't listen, they'd take them both.  
Melanie screamed again as she fell into the van, Jared tumbling after her. She clung to him with scared eyes, and he held her, whispering to her.

"No!" She screamed as they began to shut the door, "Let us go! No! Not again! "  
Then she was gone, her screams we're drowned out. The door shut with a bang, and the van veered off into the distance. I saw her face through the small window, she was screaming and thrashing against the door. But it was too late.

"Melanie!" I screamed, tears coming down my face. I tried to kick out of Ian's grip but it was no use, he was too strong. I pushed and I shoved but nothing happened.  
"Ian! Let me go, let me go! I need to save her! I need to save her!"  
He still continued to run, Melanie and Jared's van became smaller and smaller. Their lives seemed to disappear too, it was over.

"Melanie!" I screamed again, the tears running down faster. My sister, my best friend, gone.  
"No," I sobbed into my hands, "Melanie." I moaned. Ian still kept running, his face hard.

"No, Melanie." I whimpered. My bottom lip quivered and I felt myself shaking in Ian's arms. He looked down at me quickly, and kissed my forehead, holding me closer to him.

"I'm sorry, Wanda. I am so, so sorry." He said. I wanted to scream at him.

"Ian, how can you just leave them?" I whispered up at him in shock. Jared and he had also grown a bond, brothers even. I didn't understand how he could just leave them.

"Wanda," his voice came out in a pant, "I can't stop I'm sorry. I know you love her, I do too. But right now we need to get somewhere safe."  
I saw that he too had tears in his eyes, threatening to spill over. Helplessly I reached up to him and wiped his cheek with my thumb. He forced a small smile on his lips, and then he skidded to a stop, and turned around.  
Then I heard it,

A single gunshot.


	2. Chapter 2

**Last Chapter (Ch.1)**

_He forced a small smile on his lips, and then he skidded to a stop, and turned around.  
Then I heard it,_

_A single gunshot._

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_

**Chapter 2- Hopeless**

We whirled around, and there, clutching a gun close to him stood Uncle Jeb. I stared wide eyes as he brought the gun to his eye, and shot a Seeker running towards him. The Seeker fell to the ground, grasping his side in pain. The other Seekers reacted to this, they all charge toward Jeb.

Never in all my lives, have I experience such a cruel violence.

More gun shots sounded, not only from Jeb; suddenly the men emerged from the rocks, shooting every Seeker in sight. They all fell to the ground, groaning in pain. Right then and there, I wondered if it was wrong to be happy at this moment. To be happy at another's death. Well as wrong as it may be, this brought the slightly joy to my face. As they fell my hope continued to grow bigger and bigger, as each life was taken I felt like mine was expanding. That our chances were not as dim as I thought they were. The guns continued to blare as Ian started to run again, the mountain coming closer and closer, our safety was almost here.

Then suddenly we heard a helicopter above us, not one but four.

Four huge helicopters hovered around us, making a circle around us, trapping us. From these helicopters emerged more Seekers. More than there was before. I screamed in horror as they jumped to the ground behind Uncle Jeb.

"Jeb!" I screamed, waving my hands in the air.  
He turned his eyes towards me, and the Seeker was moving closer and closer. I felt my breath cut off as the Seeker slung his arm around Jeb's neck, pulling him up. Uncle Jeb, almost on instinct shoved his gun in the Seekers side, causing him to let go and cry out in pain. He gripped his leg as Uncle Jeb shot him. And just like that, the Seeker fell to the ground.  
Uncle Jeb looked up, and it seemed to be raining Seekers, all of them sliding down ropes, climbing down ladders. And I knew, from the look in his eyes he saw we had no chance of winning this fight.

"Run!" He roared, as he charged the crowd towards where Ian and I were still running. We were almost there now, Ian and I. We were so close. As Jeb ran through the parade of Seekers he shot any that came close to him. The other men, who I recognized as Aaron, Heath and Brandt fallowed his lead, sprinting through the enemy, shooting everything and everyone in sight. Then I saw Kyle. My heart pace grew faster as I watched this man run for his life. What had happened to Sunny? Surely he wouldn't have left her. But still Sunny was nowhere in sight. I imagined her alone and captured, I shivered at the thought. _No _I told myself, Kyle would never let that happen.

Finally we reached the mountain, the others still running behind us, and now a whole group of Seekers as well. _We can make it; we can make it _I chanted in my head. We had the advatage, we had guns, and they didn't. And once everyone got in the vans we'll drive off, they'll never catch us.

We turned the corner quickly, and then against our own will we stopped. I gasped at what I saw. I have I ever been so frightened as I did that very moment. This, this very moment I knew would be my death. We would die; it was over, gone, and finished. Ian seemed to know this too, as he held me in his arms. I saw his jaw go slack, as he took in what we was seeing. Time seemed to freeze for a split second. Ian looked down at me and whispered,

"Wanda, I am _so _sorry it has to end like this. I love you, Wanda. My whole entire I love, and I always will. I swear to you I will _never _stop loving you. _Never._You deserve a life, Wanda. When I set you down I want you to run. Run until you reach safety don't ever stop, do you hear me? If they catch you say you were held hostage and finally escaped, they'll believe you. They won't hurt you."

My mouth fell open. Bright lights blinded me, people were shouting, but I didn't hear them all I heard was Ian, _my _Ian.

"No," I whispered to him, tightening my arms around his neck, "If we're going to die, I will die with you."

"Wanda-"

"No," I pushed my finer against his lip, silencing him. "Listen to me. Ian, I love you more than you'll ever comprehend, and I will _not _leave you. We. die. together."

"Wanda... I'm not going down without a fight." He said.

"Well then," I answered, "Neither am I."

"Wanda, your tiny. You can barley lift your own weight, I don't think anyone will expect you to fight back."

"Exactly," I said, almost smugly, though under the circumstance, its impossible to be smug. "They'll never see it coming."

"Wanda..." Ian hesitated, and I saw from the corner of my eye more movement.

"Look Ian, I'm not running away. I'm staying here with you. Where I belong."

Then he set me down, and we stood there, awaiting our death.

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**Hey guys!**

**I hope you like it, it's my first fanfiction.  
I absolutely love The Host. Ian O'shea ! 3  
Please Review ! It would help alot.  
I'll try to finish ****the next chapters in the next few days. Hopefully.**

**Keep on reading !**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, I KNOW people are reading this.  
They just aren't reviewing, and thats just gruel.  
so PLEASE PLEASE review guys.  
A writer needs to know that her story isn't crap once and a while.  
READ IT THEN REVIEW IT.**

**Last Chapter (Ch.2)**

_"Look Ian, I'm not running away. I'm staying here with you. Where I belong."_

_Then he set me down, and we stood there, awaiting our death._

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**Chapter 3- Bold**

I stood next to Ian, trying to make myself tall. I was shorter, scrawnier, and if you look at me, you wouldn't think I'm the rebellious type. But right then and there, I never felt as strong as I did. I _wanted _them to come, just so they can die. I will _not _let my family die, or _I _will die trying.

The first Seeker took a step towards me, and I glared at him. They would come for me first since I was obviously the weaker and easier target. The Seeker looked at me, and I saw that silver stream in his eye, as he saw in mine. That fact shamed me, the fact that if you really think about it, I am exactly like them. I am an intruder. I intruded on their planet, and put them into this misery. And as many times as Ian denied this, I know the truth. I had no right to take over their planet, just as much as I have no right to fight back. I am not like Ian, I know that. I am not _human. _My_ body _is human, _I _on the other hand, am not.

Ian squeezed my hand then quickly let it go, letting it fall to my side. I looked behind me, just as Jeb and the other had joined us. Their eyes widening like ours as they saw what we stood against.

A whole army of Seekers, a hundred more of them than there were of us. The chances or our survival are very, very low.

"Oh, shit." Kyle said,

"Yeah, shit." Heath breathed.

"Can't you...talk to them or something?" Aaron said in a low voice, "You are one of them."

I winced at his words. Those words cut through me like a knife.

"Don't you _ever, ever _compare me to them again." I growled at him.

"I'm just trying to find a way to live here! Excuse me for not wanting my life to end!" He spat back at me.

I glared at him and he glared back. Pushing away the fact that we had gotten along fine before. The pressure of the situation was getting to everyone.

"We already have enough problems, we don't need you two bickering." Jeb said, "So shut the heck up or I'll do it for you."

I turned away from them and looked up at Ian, wondering if he wanted me to try.

"It's too late, you can't do anything." He whispered down to me, my eyes filling with tears. I turned back to the Seekers who we're staring at us, no, at _me. _One of them whispered to another, their eyes never leaving me. Then finally one stepped forward.

"Humans!" She exclaimed, "We are not going to hurt you as long as you cooperate." She held her hands up as if it was a sign of defeat. But I knew she was nowhere defeat.

"Lies." Kyle growled, stepping forward as well. "You won't hurt us, you'll just take our lives and shove one of _you_ into us. That's even worse than death." I winced again, "So please just kill us now."

The Seeker forced a tiny smile on her lips,  
"Get them," She said, her smile growing bigger as the rest of the Seekers began towards us.  
Then suddenly she saw me, and her eyes grew wide. She held up one hand, in sign for them to stop. The Seekers froze, and looked at her for instructions.

"Wait," She said, her voice small. "We seem to have a... situation."

She step forward again, and held her hand out to me.  
"Come here child." She said with a small smile.

I looked up at Ian, his voice filled with fury. His swung his arm around my waist. The Seeker raised her eyebrow.

"What is this then?" She said, eyeing Ian's hand around my waist. "Forming a bound with humans?"

I glared at her, the tears in my eyes were gone, and replacing them was hatred.

"Pity," she said, "We'll have to take you too now, won't we?" How I didn't slap her in the face right then, I'll never know.  
"Unless..." She began. "Child," she said, taking a new approach. "I do not want to hurt you."  
She held her hand closer to me. "You are not meant to be on that side of the circumstances, you belong here, with us." She stepped closer, still offering her hand.

Those words made my heart ache. Then suddenly, a new feeling over powered me. I pushed Ian's hand off my waist. His eyes were wide,

"Wanderer," He said in shock.

I did not look at him, I walked towards the Seeker, who smiled at me. I looked up at her and said,

"I am Wanderer." My voice high and alluring.

"I am Chimer of the Wind." She smiled brightly, and I tried to return it.

I stepped closer to her so that our faces inches apart. I had to stand on the tips of my toes to reach her. And even then I still didn't reach her full level, but it was good enough for me.

"Friends call me Wanda."

"Friends call me Chimes." She replied.

"Now tell me Chimes." I said, not moving my face away, "Are we friends?"

This seemed to stop her for a second, her smile faded,

"I suppose so, all souls are friends." She said,

I smiled at her,

"Well then. As a... _friend. _Will you do me the favour of letting us go?" I asked her,

She laughed, "I'm afraid I can't do that friend."

I laughed too, "Then can you do me another favour?"

"Depends on what you're asking."

I smiled at her, "Oh it's not much." I assured her, my voice friendly.

"Very well then, what is it?"

"Don't scream when I punch you. It'll only make it harder." My friendly tone gone, I charged at her. Pushing her to the ground, she gasped out in shock.

Just like that everyone took action, Jeb, Aaron, Heath, Kyle and Brandt took out their guns. The Seekers ran towards them, past me as I lay atop of their leader.

Now don't get me wrong, I didn't _enjoy _what I did, I didn't want to hurt her, I really didn't. But when my family is at risk, I'll do anything. I jumped off her unconscious body and was met by Ian.

"Wow," He said,

"Yeah," was all I could say.

Then so quickly as it had started the guns start to fire. A Seeker came from behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I struggled and kicked. Ian was attacked by the others and I continued to struggle for my life. I bit down into his hand hard, and he yelped but didn't let go. I jammed my foot into his and thrust my elbow into his side. He crimpled in pain. Ha, who know I could be so dangerous.

"Head to the van!" Brandt exclaimed as they became to back into the cliff. Ian and I stood beside them. Our backs to the van as the Seekers inched towards us. The Seekers who dared to attack were instantly shot and fell to the ground. I looked over my shoulder to see Trudy, Jamie, Heidi, Geoffrey, and Candy already in the van, starring at us with wide eyes. Jamie said something to Geoffrey and he shook his head. I turned my attention back to Jeb.

He shook his gun and pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. Then I knew it, we were out of bullets.


	4. Chapter 4

**Last Chapter (Ch.3)**

_He shook his gun and pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. Then I knew it, we were out of bullets._

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**Note: This chapter was the hardest for me to write. I think I might have cried at my own work.**

**Chapter 4- Taken**

He shook his gun again, and once again, nothing happened. He met my panicked eyes, and then Ian's.

"Get to the van you two." Jeb said to Ian and me, "Now!"

I froze there; I was not willing to leave them and neither was Ian. Then one by one, our guns became useless. First Heath's, then Brandt's, Kyle's and then finally Aaron's. So there we all stood, completely helpless.

"Geoffrey, get out of here, NOW!" Jeb yelled to the others in the van. Geoffrey stared at Jeb for a moment and then nodded and slammed on the gas. The van veered into the distance, out of the Seekers sight. I breathed a sigh of relief; at least some of my family was safe. As for Melanie and Jared...and who knows what might have happened to Sunny. There were so many others, so many people I was unsure of if they were safe.

The Seekers this time did not hesitate. They ran at us, taking us into their arms. Kicking and screaming Heath, Brandt and Aaron were thrown into a van and were instantly veered off into the distance.

"No!" I screamed and lashed out at a Seeker. I screamed as more than two hands came around me, helplessly I twisted and kicked.

"Jeb!" Ian had yelled as Jeb was also thrown into a van. The slam of the door echoing in my head. The tears came fast now, as I realized me and Ian were the only two left. I was losing my family, piece by piece, member by member. But right now, this man in the arms of my kind was the most important. As Ian protesting against them, I looked at him as if it would be the last time I would ever see his face.

Suddenly I was lifted up and throw into the van. I fell to the metal floor with a thump, and my sides ached with pain.

"Wanda!" Ian exclaimed as he saw me, and then he gave up. He stopped kicking, he stopped his protesting, he simply gave himself up. The Seekers were surprised, but still took action, they pushed them into the van next to me, and he obediently sat next to me.

"Ian," I whispered in a hoarse voice. I hate how he did that, how he gave himself up for me. All this time he said _I _deserved a life. But he was wrong, _he _deserve a life so much more than I did. I had _no _right to live, it was _his _home. Im just making his life more complicated than it all ready was. He could have fought his way out, but he didnt. He didnt because of _me, _everything he did was because of _me._ Right that moment I did not feel worth it. I was a waste of this body. I was a waste of Ian's life.

"My Wanderer," he whispered back to me, and took my face in his hands as the door slammed and I felt the van begin to move. I tumbled backwards at the sudden movement, but, as always Ian's hands caught me. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me as I cried. I buried my head into his shirt and breathed in his scent. He rocked us back and forth, trying to sooth me, either that or the van was just too unsteady. He stroked my hair and whispered,

"Wanderer, _my _Wanderer." Over and over again.

"Ian," I said after several moments. "What's going to happen to us?"  
He looked at me, his eyes searched my face then after a minute he answered,

"I...I'm not sure what will happen to you Wanderer. But I know what will happen to _me._"

Instantly his words brought more tears into my eyes which flowed freely down my cheeks. I fought back the urge to sob.

"Ian," I said, my voice braking, "I won't let them." I shook my head slowly back and forth.  
"I won't let them, Ian. Do you hear me? I won't let them!" I screamed.

"Shhh," Ian soothed, bringing my head back to his chest. "Wanderer..."

"Ian," I said into his chest. "Ian I love you." I reminded him.

"I love you too Wanderer. I always will." He replied, his words ringing with truth and love.

He kissed me then, his mouth urgent on mine. I kissed him back, in fear it would be the last time I ever did. We pulled away from each other, and just stared, trying to memorize each other's face. Our futures seemed so _so_ weak; there was nothing that could make this situation worse. Ian might not know what they would do with me, but I did. They would take me out and ship me to another planet. As for Ian...they'd put a soul into his body. I knew it, I just _knew _it. They'd put a soul into him, and I wouldn't be around to save him. I wondered if there is ever an answer to this problem, if there was _any _way that we could get through this. I remember reading once that "Love is so strong it can overpower everything." I read that from a bookstore we had pasted during raid. If love could _really _overpower everything, where was it now? I love Ian, and Ian loves me. Now what? Where is that remarkable magic that supposed to happen? What if love, is just setting you up for a bigger and harder fall. What if when we just get _so _used to being happy, when we're sad, it's a thousand times worst. In other words, what if everything I knew, and believe in was wrong?

The door opened then and we were instantly in hand cuffs. We were lead into a white building and sat in two metal chairs, and were left there. Nothing was in the room except for Ian, me, and the chairs. Which we were tied to. The back of my chair was against Ian's, both of us tied to face the opposite of the room, impossible to see each other's face. The ropes felt tight against my skin but that was nothing compared to the pain in my chest, my heart to be exact.

The door swung open, Ian and I turned our head in unison. Entered, Chimes. Her face slightly bruised where I had hit her. When she saw me she smiled. A smug smile, not a friendly one.

"Seems like your attempts have failed haven't they?" She said, circling us.  
She laughed a long, shrill laugh.

"Now, they'll be certain punishments." She lowered her face to mine, "But I'm sure you already knew that Wanderer."

I spat at her, and Ian hissed from behind me. His hand reached out to mine from his chair and I held onto his tightly. She winced at us but continued to circle. She was behind me now, and was facing 

Ian. I could almost feel her bending down to him. I wanted to punch her for the second time and make the bruise a little more noticeable. But sadly, I was tied to the chair. She got lucky, for this time at least.

"You shall make a lovely addition to the Seekers," she said to Ian, I growled, "Very strong, very muscular... yes a very lovely addition indeed. You shall be very useful. Once there is a soul inside of you, of course."

She circled back to me now, and again she bent down to me.

"And you my little rebellion," she said, "We have special things planned for you."

I thrashed against the ropes but they were too tight, and I gave up. Chimes laughed again and walked out of the room. Just as quickly as she left four muscular Seekers entered. They untied us and three held Ian, and the other held me. We were walked into the hall when one said,

"That one goes to the tanks." He looked at me then he looked at Ian, "This one will go visit the Healer."

"No!" I exclaimed, and for what seemed to be the millionth time, I kicked and screamed against the hand that held me. I kicked harder than I did before, because now, I had a new reason. This was _my _Ian they were dealing with. I am not going to take this quietly.

"Ian!" I screamed as the Seeker dragged me down the hall, and the others dragged Ian in the opposite direction.

"No!" I screamed my voice high. The tears came fast blurring my vision, but I could still see Ian's face. Helplessly I reached out to him, and he did the same, out fingers meeting at the briefest instant. And then just as quickly as it had happened we were pulled away. He thrashed against the Seekers, but there were three on him.

"Wanderer!" He screamed, tears also streaming down his face. I struggled with all my strength, but it was a waste. I watched as they dragged him into a room,

"I love you Ian. I swear I do. I'll never stop, I promise." I yelled brokenly, my voice cracking. My blonde hair stuck to my face from my tears which flowed faster and faster, desperate sobs breaking out of my chest.

"Wanderer, be strong. I love-" There was a slap, and he never got to finish his sentence.

"Never stop fighting Ian. Never stop!" I yelled to him, I couldn't see him I couldn't hear him, but I didn't care if he could hear me or not.

I sobbed broken heartedly as the Seeker led me past a front desk, and down a hall.

"Ian, Ian, Ian." I whimpered. It was as if I could feel my heart break in half, as if I could hear that faint 'crack'. I cried what was left of my heart when I heard a small musical voice call.

"Wait!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it took so long. My house was being painted,  
so I was separated from my computer. Well here it is finally!**

**& Remember PLEASE PLEASE review, if I don't get at least 6 more  
reviews, I may not write the next chapter. YES THAT IS A THREAT. **

**Last Chapter (Ch.4)**

"_Ian, Ian, Ian." I whimpered. It was as if I could feel my heart break in half, as if I could hear that faint 'crack'. I cried what was left of my heart when I heard a small musical voice call._

"_Wait!"_

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**Chapter 5 - Found**

I was whirled around to find, to find myself starring at the small curly black haired woman. She was dirty and her face covered with dirt. Her eyes wide, silver streaming through them.

"Wait!" She repeated. She rushed towards us. I did not recognize her, but there was a familiar ring to her voice. Her curls bounced as she ran towards me. She looked up at the Seekers and said,

"There has been a mistake." Her voice clear, but still filled with fear.

"Do not try to stop us small one. We have orders to take this one to the tanks."

She squared her shoulders and looked the Seeker and the eye.

"I am Sunlight Passing Through the Ice, Sunny for short. And you have been misinformed."

"Sunny." I whispered in shock. **(You were right, SoulStone) **  
I didn't recognize her without Kyle. I had rarely seen her without him. But now here she was trying to win over a Seeker.

"Misinformed?" He repeated, ignoring me. "I don't see how. This soul here," he shook me hard, my tears falling faster. "Has made human relationships. She has betrayed us."

Sunny shook her head frantically.

"I was there too." She said, "They took both of us. We were held hostage."

The Seeker looked at her, searching her face. "How do I know you're not lying?"

Sunny looked taken aback.

"I am a soul. I do not lie." She stated, her voice ringing with the truth. Wow, she was good.

The Seeker squinted his eyes, still unsure. His grip on my arm loosened a bit.

"If you still don't believe, let me explain." She said again, her eyes meeting mine briefly. "My friend Wanda and I were out camping. You see, my host loves the outdoors. Hard to believe isn't it? Well anyways, we we're out hiking…" She paused dramatically "These humans come out of nowhere! Then 

next thing we knew we were captured. They wouldn't let us go you see, but I managed to escape when you…" she paused again, searching for the right words. "You WONDERFUL people came to rescue us!" She threw her hands and the air, rejoicing. She was being a little overdramatic if you ask me. I looked up at the Seeker; I knew he was buying it.  
"But my friend was still in the hands of those _brutal _humans. I could not help her. But then you found her! THANK YOU!" She threw her arms around the Seeker, and he let go of my hand in surprise.

Sunny saw this and mouthed to me quickly "_Get to the car." _

I nodded and walked down the hall quickly.

"So THANK YOU AGAIN, for saving my dearest friend. You are truly a man of power." She said to the Seeker, who was running his hand through his hair timidly. He smiled at her and she kissed his cheek.

"We will be going now. Thank you so much."

He blushed a deep red and laughed shakily. Sunny ran after me and we headed out the door together.

"Can I call you?" We heard the Seeker yell. I muffled a giggle in my hand. We ran to the car and she stepped on the gas. Next thing I knew we were on the highway.

"Sunny," I whispered in disbelief. New tears fell down my cheek. Tears of relief.

"Sunny!" I exclaimed and threw my arms around her, pulling her into a crushing hug. She and I were almost the same height, though she was a few inches taller.

"Hey!" She exclaimed, as the car swerved left, almost hitting a truck.

"Woops." I said, bringing my arms back and folding them on my lap.

She looked over at me and smiled. "I'm _so _glad you okay, Wanda."

"You made quite a performance. Though, I think you went over the top a bit."

We reached a stoplight and she reached over and gave me a hug. Ever since I was in Pet's body, she and I had become the best of friends, almost like Melanie and I.

Melanie…

"Kyle?" She asked me,

I looked at her closely,  
"I'm so sorry, Sunny." I whispered.

Her eyes clouded and filled with tears, she nodded. I watched as her tears flooded down her cheek. Then I felt that twist in my gut when I remembered Ian. Ian, _my Ian. _I sobbed along with Sunny, both of us crying in the car when a loud honk came from behind us. We both jumped in surprise and realized the light had turned green.

"We'll have to stay at a hotel." She whispered as she whipped her cheek with one hand, driving with the other. She turned left then we jerked to a stop.

"No," I whispered, "Please. _NO!" _Iscreamed and opened the door and ran.

"Wanda!" Sunny called after me, but I ignored her. I ran into the sickening scene, coughing as the smoke filled my lungs.

"No," I whispered, the smoke cleared. And there, right in front of me, was a Seeker's van. It was turned over at the side and the front and back was completely wrecked. It was hard to believe, but I knew, there, inside that crushed van, was a member of my family. Kyle, Heath, Brandt, Jared, Melanie… I don't know. I ran to the van and climbed on the mashed hood of the other car that hit it. With every little bit of strength I had, I pulled the van doors open.

There lying on the floor, was my sister and my brother.

"Melanie!" I cried, I rushed into the cramped space and pulled her up so her head was in my lap.

"Melanie…" Her eyes were closed, and her face was covered with blood. The window that separated the hostages and the drive has shattered, showing both Jared and Melanie with shards of glass. Melanie's arm twitched, and she groaned.

"Wanda…" She groaned.

"Yes! Yes Melanie I'm here, I'm here."

"The car…" She murmured, her eyes still closed, "The car…it wouldn't….slow down."

My eyes filled with tears, and I stroked her hair gently.

"Jared…" She whispered, than he eyes flew open, "Jared!" She yelled.

"Melanie! Shhh, calm down. Just lay down. I'll check on him." I said to her soothingly. Helplessly she shut her eyes and soon was unconscious on the floor. I crawled over to where Jared lay. He was on his stomach, his eyes also shut, but he was lying in blood.

"Oh God," I breathed as I slowly turned him over to his back. His face was much worse than Melanie. He must have been closer to the window than she was. His face has multiple cuts that were bleeding freely. His whole body was bleeding, not an inch of him looked healthy.

"Jared," I gasped. I held my cheek close to his mouth, checking if he was breathing. And he wasn't.

"No…Jared." I gasped.

"Wanda?" Sunny's voice called.

"Sunny! Get in here, _now._" I called back.

I saw her immerge through the smoke and climbed in.

"Oh no." She gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth as tears fell from her eyes. She crouched next to me and laid her hand on Jared's chest.

"He's not breathing." She whispered quietly.

I nodded helplessly then Melanie groaned.  
"Wanda!" She called hoarsely.  
I crawled back to her,

"Yes?"

She gripped my shirt.  
"Wanda," She gasped, "Jared…the glass."

"Melanie…" She opened her eyes and stared at me, "Melanie you need to rest, we can talk later."  
She shut her eyes and nodded, giving in to her tiredness.

"Jared…Jared…Jared," She whispered, than she fell into unconsciousness.

"Sunny, we need to get her out of here before the Healers come."

She nodded then together, both our weak bodies, we pulled Melanie up. Slowly we made our way to her car and put Melanie in the back seat.

"Jared?" Sunny asked quietly.

I just shook my head.  
"There's nothing we can do for him anymore."

She nodded slowly then hopped into the driver's seat. We reached the hotel moments later.

"You stay here with Melanie, I'll go check in."

I nodded and watched her go then I turned around and stared at Melanie's scarred face. Tears fell down my cheek silently. I didn't like seeing my sister like this. Then I thought of Jared, and the tears came faster. He was gone, he was gone and couldn't come back. Poor Melanie… after all she's been through, and now this. I gulping and wiped my tears with my hand.

Things could only get better. I concluded. Right?


	6. Chapter 6

**I got a lot of comments about Jared.  
Yes he is dead. And Yeah, I'm sorry.  
I don't WANT to kill him, it's just the way the story goes.  
People ARE going to die, and he just happened  
to be one of them. So if you don't like what your reading then,  
simply stop reading it. Though I hope you continue on with this story.  
PLEASE REVIEW.**

**Last Chapter (Ch.5)**

_Then I thought of Jared, and the tears came faster. He was gone, he was gone and couldn't come back. Poor Melanie… after all she's been through, and now this. I gulping and wiped my tears with my hand._

_Things could only get better. I concluded. Right?_

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**Chapter 6 – Remembered**

I yawned and stretched as I woke up the next day. The clouds gray and gloomy, threatening to spill over. I looked over at Melanie, sleeping calmly on the other bed. Then Sunny, who was curled into a ball on the couch. I sighed; these were my last remains of my family. Some are gone, some… I just don't know what happened to. I can only hope that the others who were able to escape are safe right now. Oh, Jamie. I hope he's okay…

"Jared?" The voice of my sister asked, sitting up quickly. Her hair sticking out in every direction, her voice thick with sleep.

"Melanie," I whispered as I sat beside her, she looked at me franticly, "Melanie, you should lay down."

She shook her head at me, "I've been sleeping for too long. Where's Jared?"

"Melanie…" I took her hand, "Melanie, he was already gone by the time we got there."

She stared at me, as if she was waiting for the punch line, but there was none. Her eyes turned from confusion, to rage, then to sorrow, and they filled with tears. Quiet sobs erupted from her chest, and I pulled her into my arms. Though I am smaller, I managed perfectly.

"No, no, no, no." She sobbed into me, I rubbed her back soothingly, and still the sobs did not end.

"Wanda?" Sunny asked, looking around.

"Here," I answered her. Her eyes fell into Melanie, sobbing brokenly.

"Oh no." Sunny whispered and she instantly stood up and sat on the bed with us. We were sitting in a small triangle, we could see all the hurt expressions of each other. All the misery we have inside of us, showed through our eyes. Sunny, for Kyle, Melanie, for Jared, and me, for Ian. That hit that nerve, my heart felt as if it was being twisted and stabbed. That longing inside of me bubbled up again, and soon enough. I was crying along with Melanie.

"No, no. You guys don't cry!" Sunny exclaimed. "Really! I can't take anymore crying!"

Melanie and I did not listen, we sobbed our pain away, even though I think this type of pain will _never _go away.

"Guys," Sunny moaned, "Please don't cry…you're going to make me-"Her voice broke twice, and then she joined our little pity fest. Her tears ran fast down her cheeks, as did mine and Melanie's.

How pitiful we must have looked. Three girls, crying on a bed. There sobs so broken it could break your heart. It seemed quite ironic actually, how we were able to find each other, and loose our loved one in the same time. Kyle, Jared, and Ian, gone. They are gone. Others fate worst then the other, but that did not matter. What matter is, _my _Ian, is gone. This brought a new round of tears to my eyes.

"Ian," I sobbed into my hands. "Ian, please come back." But I know it's no use, he was not ever going to come back. Sunny leaned on my shoulder, her tears streaking my shirt, but that did not matter. Melanie on my other side, whimpering loudly, also buried her head on my other shoulder. So I buried my own head atop of theirs, my arms winding around them, keeping them close.

"We still have each other," I whispered to them softly. "You know…it's kind of funny."

They both stopped to look- no glare- at me.

"No not that, I meant. Out of everyone, your guys are crying on _me. _ I'm the smallest one, and you guys cry on _me." _ I laughed hysterically. I couldn't stop laughing, it wasn't even _that _funny.

Sunny and Melanie exchanged confused glances, making me laugh harder.

"I think she's in shock?" Sunny suggested, I continued to laugh, and the tears still continued to fall.

"Uhh…" Melanie said as she watched me roll onto the floor, grasping my stomach, laughing as if I had heard the world's funniest joke.

"What should we do?" Sunny whispered to Melanie.

"We could…throw water on her?" She suggested, making me laughing even harder if that was possible.

"Too messy."

"Slap her?"

"Perfect."

Melanie reach over to me, and slapped me on the head. My laughing stopped abruptly. I stared at them, smiling.

"Sorry," I said, then stood. I wiped the tears from my face, and they did too.

"God, we're so pathetic." Melanie whispered.

I sighed and nodded, "We should probably get breakfast."

"I'll do that," Sunny volunteered, "You can stay with Melanie."

I sat up and watched her go, shutting the door behind her. I looked at Melanie who was staring at the wall.

"You should take a shower." I told her quietly. She nodded and walked to the washroom, seconds later I heard the shower on. I sighed and rolled on my stomach. I lay my head in the bed, just laying there. I shut my eyes, and my dreams started.

Dream seems to be an understatement, I wasn't having a dream, I was having a nightmare.

"Ian!" I called, as I watched him being slapped in the face by a Seeker. The dream seemed to pick up where I left off. Ian was slammed onto a metal table on his stomach. His face turned towards me, his eyes closed. I felt helpless, I tried to make myself move, but nothing happened. I cried out in horror as I saw the Healer head towards him.

"No!" I shouted, as the Healer put on his gloves and took a scalpel and was just about to make that dreadful cut into Ian. I saw the tank behind him, and the soul inside.

"Wander…"I heard Ian whisper. "I love-"The Healer plunged the scalpel into his neck, and his words were stopped.

Then suddenly I was in a new scene. We were back at the caves, back when things were living peacefully. We were in our room, just sitting on the bed in each other's arms. Ian was holding me on his lap, and the nightmare instantly turned back into a dream. He smiled down at me, making me smile in return. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. I buried my head into his chest, breathing him in. It seemed so long ago, though I know it has probably only been days. It's amazing how that one person can make your heart twist and scar just by leaving. The rope that tied us together has been cut and stepped on. And neither of us could do anything about it.

Then again, I was back at the hospital, Ian never getting to finish his sentence. Never getting to say the last word. I know he loved me, I know it. It's just the three words I've been longing to hear. The scene began to replay again in my mind.

"I love you Ian. I swear I do. I'll never stop, I promise." I yelled to him, though I already knew his answer.

"Wanderer, be strong. I love-"He started then a loud slap stopped him.

I shot up instantly, my eyes flashing open. My heart was thumping quickly. I felt myself shaking and the tears once again started to fall.

"You," I whispered, Melanie and Sunny looked up from the table where they were eating.

"You, Ian. That's all. You." I whimpered. Melanie got up and put her arms around me. I sobbed even more than I had before, my shoulder heaving up and down under Melanie's arm.

"It's 'you'!" I shouted, "It's not that hard to say!"

I buried my head in Melanie's chest, as she patted my back, talking to me calmly.

"Wanderer?" She whispered my full name, "Do you want to tell me about it."

"He didn't say it," I whimpered instantly, "He didn't say 'you'!" I shouted now.

Melanie flinched but did not move, "He just didn't say it." I whispered now.

The tears slowly coming to a stop. I pulled myself away from Melanie and stared at her calmly.

"He just…didn't say 'you'." I said to her, she stared at me in confusion.

"He…" I sighed, "He only said 'I' and 'love', he forgot the 'you'." I whispered. Melanie's face turned solemn.

"Oh Wanda," She whispered and hugged me tightly. I sighed and pulled away. "You know he loves you."

"Does he? Does he really." I snapped at her bitterly, my sadness overwhelming me. "He's gone! He doesn't love me anymore! He's _gone. _So there's no one left to love me."

They both watched me head to the washroom and slam the door behind me. I gripped the counter, and inhaled deeply. My tears hit the counter like bullets, and I stared at my reflection. My eyes were red with black circles under them. My face look thin and unhealthy, my blonde hair was messy and tangled. Over all, I looked lifeless. Like I was empty. In a way I was. With a grunt I turned on the shower and got in. Letting the hot water sooth my aches. I leaned my head back and sighed.

I'm not sure what will lie ahead, I just know I have no choice but to go along with it.


	7. ATTENTION PLEASE READ !

**ATTENTION :**

**Please help. I have writers block, simply because I cannot think of anymore names for souls. I am not revealing WHO the names are for, I simply need them. A lot of them. The more the better. For those who are thinking "OH this is so Ian's soul." HA ! You guys keep thinking that, sure. I'm not going to say it's true and I'm not going to deny it. But over all I need the names for other souls coming into the story. So please please PLEASE, suggest some. I don't care if it's lame. It would just help a lot. I cannot continue the next few chapters until I get this straightened out. So the more names I get, the faster the chapters will come. I already came up with the name "Chimes the Wind." So I am looking for something like that. Not like Wanderer, something like Sunny's (Sunlight Passing Through Ice) So please help out! Trust me your suggestions will be fully appreciated.**


	8. Chapter 7

**Hey fanfictioners,  
Thanks so, so much for your help. I got a lot of soul names. Which are ALL wonderful. They helped, but continue to send suggestions, it opens up my options. So just because I'm continuing the story, doesn't mean you can't suggest anymore. Please, the more the better. And just to be clear, I am not looking for names from a particular planet. All are welcome. Also, the chapters ARE and WILL CONTINUE to come slow. My school has started and I'm busy busy. So I apologize in advance, but I'll try to update as soon as I can. Remember REVIEW.**

**Last Chapter (Ch.6)**

_Over all, I looked lifeless. Like I was empty. In a way I was. With a grunt I turned on the shower and got in. Letting the hot water sooth my aches. I leaned my head back and sighed._

_I'm not sure what will lie ahead, I just know I have no choice but to go along with it._

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**Chapter 7 – Fallen**

_One month._

_Two months._

_Three months…_

Three whole, tiresome months has passed. Each and every day a challenge just to live. Sunny, Melanie and I have been living like all other souls. Melanie though, was not allowed to leave the hotel room, which had practically become our home. She was frustrated by her lack of freedom.

_Flashback._

"_Why can't _I _help?" Melanie asked, her voice almost a whine. Sunny and I sighed,_

"_Because," I said, "Melanie you aren't a soul. No pun intended." _

_She grumbled and crossed her arms. Sunny and I had just arrived back from the grocery store, just like any other day._

"_I feel useless." She said,_

_Sunny opened her mouth to protest but was interrupted. _

"_Come on. What have I been doing lately?" She insisted. I looked at Sunny, and we shared a panicked glance. "_Exactly," _Melanie said, "I've just been eating, reading, watching TV, and sleeping. I need to help. It's only fair."_

_I sighed; Melanie was clearly not going to budge on the subject._ _"What if we find something for you do in _here._" I suggested._

"_Yes, you can do the laundry from now on." Sunny agreed happily. "Or we could let you make the dinner for a few nights."_

_Melanie glared at us and sighed. She stomped back to her bed and opened the book we had bought her. Sunny and I sighed in unison; at least the storm was over for now. _

_End flashback_

Everything has been just passing so quickly. I felt like I was _watching _life, rather than participating. I feel that horrible twist in my stomach every time I think of Ian. For many, many night Sunny, Melanie and I have cried ourselves to sleep. All our meaning for life, gone. Melanie, the strongest out of us three, took the longest to recover. And as the days passed, an idea occurred to me, though it was crazy, I felt like I had to.

"I'm going to go look for the others." I told Sunny and Melanie at dinner. They both froze, Sunny's fork half way to her mouth.

"What?" They gasped,

"I'm going to look for them." I said simply, poking at my food.

"Them as in…" Sunny asked,

"Jamie and everyone else. I know some of them escaped. I know it, I saw them."

Melanie tensed when she heard Jamie's name.

"Wanda…" Sunny whispered, "You don't know where to look… you don't even know if their still-"

"They _are _alive." I growled. Sunny sighed, and didn't say anymore.

"I'll come with you," Melanie said quietly, both Sunny's and my own head snapped in her direction. Her eyes were clouded with sadness, and her features pained.

Sunny grumbled, "Fine," She said fiercely, "I guess I'm coming too."

"Thank you…" I whispered quietly.

The next day, we packed our belongings and filled two suitcases with food and water. I knew they both thought my idea was ridiculous, Sunny more than Melanie but I just had a feeling. That gut twisting feeling that there was _something _out there. We piled into the jeep, Sunny driving, Melanie in the back seat with all the stuff, and I rode shotgun. We flew by all the buildings, the happy faces of the souls. They world just so perfect, that a wrinkled shirt would be a problem to them. They have no idea, how tough I have it. I looked at Melanie in the review mirror. Her eyes distant and cold, if you look really closely, you can see the sadness leaking through. She stared out the window as we drove on, her mind in another world, probably with Jared. Soon the buildings we're behind us and we were on a dusty and rocky path in the desert. We rode on until we could not see the city any longer, we couldn't see any other soul either. We were completely alone.

"Are we going back to…?" Sunny mumbled, we could not call it home anymore. I don't know what to call it.

"No," I said quietly, "We'll just camp out close by, then we'll start our search."

She nodded and stared back at the road. We stopped a few minutes later, and set up camp. Two tents, one for Melanie and I, and one for Sunny. We will switch up the sleeping arrangements every day or so. Soon in was dark and we lit a fire.

We sat around it, our blankets wrapped around us. Tears fell silently on Melanie's cheeks as she looked around, the memories and the similarities of our surroundings must have gotten to her. Sunny moved closer to her and laid her head on Melanie's shoulder. Melanie stiffed for an instant then laid her head atop of Sunny's. I smiled slightly at the sight. Sunny so small, that from afar it would look like a mother and a daughter. Of course I was no bigger. Still Sunny _is _the oldest…

"I'm going to bed." I told them quickly and rose from the tree branch I sat on. I unzipped the opening to the tent and slid in, wrapping the blanket tighter around me. I breathed in deeply. The sounds of the fire and the night creature rang in my ear. All so peaceful that I soon drifted into a quiet sleep.

"Ian," I sighed.

Finally I fell into my dreams with Ian on my mind.

_**The next day,**_

"Shhh, she's waking up!" I heard Sunny whisper,

"Oh, what's the point she can probably hear is now." Melanie replied.

I sat up slowly, and rubbed my eyes. Sunny and Melanie sat crossed legged in front of me and stared.

"Why are you watching me sleep?" I asked them,

"Well it's hard to sleep with all the screaming." Melanie muttered.

"Screaming?" I asked,

"Wanda…we think _you _should get the single tent, Melanie and I can share." Sunny said,

"Why?" I questioned them, "I'm the smallest."

"Also the loudest," Melanie mumbled, and Sunny sighed.

"Look, Wanda. You scream in your sleep and frankly it wakes me up."

"_I _was screaming?"

"Very loudly," Sunny explained.

"About what?" I asked again, I never had a trouble with screaming before.

"Ian," Sunny said quietly, dropping her eyes to the floor.

"Oh," I said simply, as if she had just torn open a wound. "Okay then if that's what's best I can use the single bed."

They both nodded and replied "Thanks."

"You guys are probably tired; I can stay up and hold down the camp, you guys can sleep." I said standing up. I brushed myself off and unzipped the door and stepped out.

"Sleep well." I said to them but they were already asleep. I zipped the door back up and made my way to the campfire. I sighed and looked around. I missed Ian so _so _much. A small tear rolled down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away. I needed to get away from this place.

I walked away from out campsite and into the wilderness. The scene was just so familiar, all little reminders of what I had lost. What was gone, maybe forever? All those wonderful memories that I had, would all soon vanish. More tears came slowly down my cheek as I continued to walk forward. The world was blurring around me, but I did not care. Everything I had grown to love is gone. I walked and I walked, I don't know where I am going but I really don't care.

Suddenly I came to an edge of a cliff. I stopped right at the edge, and looked over. It wasn't that deep, but deep enough. I quickly stepped back and sighed with relief.

That was a close call; I whirled around and found myself starring into two deep blue eyes. I gasped and took a step backwards. My heart thumped in my chest as stared at this figure. It couldn't be possible…

"Ian?" I gasped. His name burning my tongue. There he stood as if nothing had happened to him, his hands at his sides his expression bewildered, and his eyes… oh God his eyes.

"No," I breathed and took another step back in disbelief then suddenly my feet were out from under me, and I lost my balance. I fell backwards and suddenly I was airborne. I shrieked as I fell through the air. My hair whirled upwards as I fell, then as quickly as it started I fell to the ground with a sickening "smack". I blinked trying to keep my eyes open, searching for the face that I had missed the most.

"Ian," I whispered. Suddenly the pain took over me and I felt my vision blurring. "Ian." I breathed as everything went black.


	9. Chapter 8

**This chapter is dedicated to ****Arykianna Cullen. Who gave me the VERY important soul name. It's not exactly what you suggested, I changed it a tad, but THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for the suggestions, keep them coming just in case. REVIEW REVIEW. Oh and I'm TRYING to make my chapters longer…I think their too short. But I'm just trying to like space them out a bit… I don't know. Again I am very very busy. It's just the start of the year and I'm already loaded with homework, plus I have practices every day. Yech.**

**Last Chapter (Ch.8)**

_I shrieked as I fell through the air. My hair whirled upwards as I fell, then as quickly as it started I fell to the ground with a sickening "smack". I blinked trying to keep my eyes open, searching for the face that I had missed the most._

"_Ian," I whispered. Suddenly the pain took over me and I felt my vision blurring. "Ian." I breathed as everything went black._

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I was floating.

I felt like I was in heaven, flying above the world, everything bubbly. I smiled to myself as I flew higher and higher, toughing the clouds. Suddenly, I began to drop. I started falling toward the ground, twisting and turning I tumbled towards my doom. I did not scream, I did not cry, I was not afraid. The ground grew closer and closer, my death surely nearing. Just as I was about to hit the bottom, just as my tiny little body was going to be crumbled into millions of pieces. I woke up with a start.

I gasped and looked around me. I was inside a tent. A lot like the one I had spent my other night in. I panted as my eyes dropped to the blanket around me. Then I remembered that I was in the single tent, Sunny and Melanie in the other.

It was a dream.

Oh God, I had dreamt it all. Ian, falling, the cliff, everything. It was a dream, and I'm stuck in reality. I never saw Ian, and Ian was not safe. I did not fall off the cliff. Then I felt a sharp pain on my forehead and I reached up and felt a soft bandage wrapped around my head, I dropped my hand and saw that it was filled with dried blood. I inspected my arm and saw it too was covered with dry blood. I was not use to seeing myself like this. We always had Heal and Smooth, so I never had to see my arm in this condition. I sat up slowly, confused.

Maybe I had fallen…maybe Melanie and Sunny found me.

_**Blaze Of Fire's POV **__(haha BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING)_

I stared at her beautiful sleeping face, so calm, so peaceful. Though her face was full of scratches she was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Her hair so blonde… almost like gold. A tiny smile forming on her delicate lips.

"_Beautiful…" Ian agreed with me. _**(AH HA! Bet you guys didn't see that either!)**

I had been in Ian's body for three months I think. The first month a torture, Ian's voice piercing into me. His voice, persuading me to run away. And in the end I did. I ran away from those horrid Seekers. They wanted me to join them, and help them catch the rest of Ian's family. They did not know of Ian… still very much aware inside of me. He did not fade away like I was told he would. He was strong, and persistent. But eventually, we gave into each other. He accepted me, and I accepted 

that I can't get rid of him. And now here we are, both of us, starring at the girl of our – his – dreams. This Wanderer, Wanda for short. She was a soul, I remembered. She was like me, but still she loved _Ian._ Such an amazing bond. _Soul _and_ human_ that was a new one. The way Ian loves this Wanderer is unexplainable, like the taste of water…

She breathed in slowly in and out, dreaming happy dreams. Dreams…

She is in my dreams. All my dreams. Dreams of her and Ian in the caves. Dreams of her musical laughter, dreams of her smiling face. Her beautiful face…

"_She is mine." Ian growled at me,_

"_I know that." I sighed,_

"_Then stop thinking that!" He snapped,_

"_I can't help it." I replied quietly._

"_Water," Ian said, changing the subject._

"_Okay,"_

I stood quickly and unzipped the tent; I glanced at Wanda quickly, and then hurried out the door. I rummaged through my bag slowly, looking for water. Finally I found a canteen and walked quickly back towards Wanda. It made me…uneasy not being with her. This is completely ridiculous because she doesn't even love me. I mean sure she loves _Ian. _I am not Ian. I am in Ian's body. I'm simply an intruder, blocking them from each other. Their _so close_ but Im standing in the way.

"_Then why don't you move!" Ian hissed at me, his anger flaring._

"_I do not know how." I told him quietly._

I laughed at myself, I was from the fire planet, the most horrifying planet, and here I was, _afraid _of this _human_. This human who can't even do anything to me. Ian growled.

"_Just get to Wanda." He snapped,_

I sighed; I know why he's angry. I can hear his thoughts, so of course I know. He's frustrated… even though he can feel what I feel, and see what I see. It's never _him._ Hes not the one who can hold Wanderer, to feel her skin under my touch. It is I. I am the only one who can do that… even though it is Ian's hands, it's not Ian using them. I do not like separating them…it hurts me. I don't like the feeling that Ian gets when he can't hold her. I don't like the look in Wanderer's eyes, when she saw the soul inside of Ian. Even worst I did not like her piercing scream as she fell to the ground. Her body so weak, a bloody, lying on the ground. It was certainly not a memory I enjoy.

I unzipped the door slowly, making sure not to wake her. I stepped in quickly and turned to zip it up again. I heard a small gasp from behind me. So I instantly turned.

There sat my Wanderer.

"My _Wanderer." Ian reminded me harshly._

"_But she is of my kind." I answered,_

I felt Ian's anger flare up again, and I shivered in protest.

"_Okay! Your Wanderer!" I snapped at him in defeat. _

I felt Ian's anger instantly turn into the passionate love that he held for her. I stared into her sparkling eyes, as she did to mine. Suddenly her eyes filled with tears, and her expression mirthful.

"Ian!" She crowed and leaped me. She swung her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest, sobbing with relief. Her warmth felt so good against my skin, so beautiful….

"How?" She gasped, bringing her gorgeous face to meet mine. Then I saw the realization hit. Her smile turned down, and the tears of joy turned into tears of pain. She saw it. That silver steam in her Ian's eyes. She saw _me. _I saw her too, I saw the silver gleam, and we are not much different.

"No," She sobbed and instantly let go of me to curl into a ball in the corner.

"I am not your Ian." I said quietly.

I don't like her sadness, it makes my heart swell. She sobbed into her hands, and I longed to hold her, to wrap my arms around her small body…

"_Stop it," Ian begged,_

"_Sorry," I whispered. "I'll try harder."_

"_Oh Wanderer…" Ian whispered._

We both watched her cry in pain, both of us wanting to hold her. This, is the girl we love.

"I _love!" Ian shouted, "_You _can't love her. _You _are not meant to be here!"_

His words hurt me. Cut through me like a knife.

"_I already know that." I said softly, "I don't need a reminder. I do not know _how _not to be here."_

"_Oh I can think of a few."_

Ian showed me a memory. A memory a year ago.

_The Healers were given No Pain, and was lying on their stomach on the metal table._

"_Wanda?" Doc asked,_

"_Do you swear Doc? _All _of my terms? Do you promise me on your own life?" Wanda answered._

"_I do. I will meet all your terms, Wanda. I swear it." Doc said, something ringing in his voice. As if he and Wanda were hiding something._

"_Jared?" She asked again,_

"_Yes, absolutely no killing, ever." He told her._

"_Ian?" She asked me. My heart leaping as she said my name._

"_I'll protect them with my own life, Wanda." I promised her. I will, I will I will. How I love her so much…_

"_Jeb?"_

"_It's my house. Anyone who can't abide by this agreement will have to get out."_

_She nodded, tears stinging her eyes. I wanted to wipe them away. "Okay, let's get it over with."_

_Doc cut into the Healer's neck and I saw the silver gleam…_

"_Now what?" He asked,_

"_Trace up the back ride. Can you feel that? Feel the shape of the segments. They get smaller towards the anterior section. Okay, at the end you should feel three small…stubby things. Do you feel what I'm talking about?" Wanda said,_

"_Yes," Doc breathed in amazement. I watched in shock._

"_Good," Wanda said as she continued to instruct him, she was so beautiful, _she _was, not just Melanies body. Those are the anterior antennae. Start there. Now, very gently, roll your finer under the body. Find the line of attachments. Theyll feel tight. Like wires." Doc did as she ordered, his eyes glistening with pure amazement. "Now, rub softly in towards the body. Knead it lightly." _

"_It's moving," Doc squeaked,_

"_That's good," Wanda assured him, "It means, you're doing it right. Give it time to retract. Wait till it rolls up a bit, then take it into your hand." _

"_Okay," He sighed, his voice shaking slightly._

"_Give me your hand." Wanda said to me, I gave her my hand and she curled it into a cup._

"_Give the soul to Ian-gently please." _

_Doc slid the silver stream into my hand. My eyes widened as I stared at the glorious soul. So beautiful…so delicate. It was like nothing I have ever seen before._

"_It's pretty." I whispered softly, pretty was an understatement._

"_I think so too. Let it slide into your tank." Wanda told me, quietly. I held it a while longer, it was just so beautiful. Just like my Wanderer…_

_I let the soul slowly slide into the coldness of the tank. While Jared shut the lid. Wanda smiled softly, the happiness showing in her beautiful silver gleaming eyes…_

I jolted back to reality. I felt the amazement rush through me. This was unbelievable.

"_You never told me about this before!" I accused him,_

_He snorted, "I didn't think it would matter."_

Wanderer stared at me, tears falling down her cheek.

"W-who a-are you?" She sobbed,

"I am Blaze of Fire." I told her, then the human instincts caught up with me, "Blaze for short."

She sobbed harder into her hands. Her small body shaking. Hesitantly I pulled her hands away from her face, gently, making sure not to cause her pain. She looked at me painfully as I gently lay my hand upon her cheek. She shut her eyes briefly,

"Ian," She whispered, tears continuing to fall silently down her cheek.

"_Tell her I'm here. Tell I love her." Ian urged his voice braking as he watched Wanderer through my eyes._

I thought for a moment…I stared at Wanderer. She was just _so beautiful._ I love her. I love her, I love her, I love her. And if I told her about Ian, I'd be taken out.

"_NO!" Ian yelled, "YOU CANNOT LOVE HER."_

I winced,

"_But I do," I said quietly, "I lov-"_

"_NO!" He yelled again, "I love her, you cannot!"_

"_That doesn't stop me."_

His anger was unmanageable. I felt myself losing control.

"_NO!" I screamed,_

But it was too late. His arms, were now under his control. I was helpless.

"Wanda!" Ian cried as he wrapped his arms around her. She froze, her expression shocked and confused.

"Wha-" Before she could finish she was cut off.

Ian's lips crashed into hers, kissing her with fierce passion. He kissed her, trying to get a reaction out of her, but she did not. Her lips remained unresponsive. He pulled away from her, hurt and confused at her hesitation. I took advantage of his weakness.

Suddenly the hands were mine again, and I had regained full control.

"_Wanda…" Ian sobbed._

Wanderer stared at me, tears gathering in her eyes,

"I'm sorry," I apologized, even though it wasn't _me. _ She nodded painfully, and I wondered what is going through her head.

"_Tell her I'm here. TELL HER!" Ian demanded._

"_No," I snapped, "I will not listen to you."_

"_Please," Ian sobbed, "_Please! _I love her…please." His voice was filled with agony, hurt, and betrayal. _

"_I just…I just can't. You don't understand. I've never felt this way before. I just…I just love her."_

Ian did not answer me after that, but I felt his sadness deepening every minute. The pit of my stomach twisting at what I had caused. I looked back a Wanderer, her eyes still swimming with tears, tears I am causing. I know this is wrong… but I just _can't. _

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Well…that totally depressed me. I bet your thinking "STUPID BLAZE JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HIM."

Well that's exactly what I'm thinking, but what kind of story would it be if he actually did? Just a heads up, the next chapter will be Wanda's POV of what just happened, a lot shall be revealed! Much more deep! Oh and I just love how Blaze calls her Wanderer xD. It's just hot. Haha Yes I am a retard.

REVIEW! OR ELSE…..

OH OH and check out my other story Edward's POV of New Moon. Which sadly my poor little fanfictioners I am not continuing. Why? Because I HATE going by a story line that isn't my own. Stephenie Meyer made that, and I'm simply making it from a different POV, I like to twist stuff around. If you haven't noticed, I'm not the type of girl who loves happy endings… but the good news is I'm working on another story. So keep an eye out for it. Here's a summary.

Takes place after new moon, Bella didn't do all the stupid things she did, and she IS falling in love with Jacob. Edwards comes back and begs for forgiveness. AND THE DRAMA STARTS.

Why am I writing this? Simply because all the stories I have read involve Edward begging for forgiveness, then Bella forgiving him like nothing ever happened. Then poor innocent Jake is instantly cut out of the picture. WELL NOT THIS TIME MY FRIENDS. More details to come!

REVIEW!


	10. Chapter 9

**Hello fanfictioners,**

**Okay, we're at about 80 and up reviews. LETS GO FOR 100! Just a small little request. I don't know how you'll do that. Maybe you could, oh I don't know. REVIEW? Or tell someone about it, I don't know. Just try at least xD.**

**Last Chapter (Ch8)**

"_Please," Ian sobbed, "__Please! __I love her…please." His voice was filled with agony, hurt, and betrayal. _

"_I just…I just can't. You don't understand. I've never felt this way before. I just…I just love her."_

_Ian did not answer me after that, but I felt his sadness deepening every minute. The pit of my stomach twisting at what I had caused. I looked back a Wanderer, her eyes still swimming with tears, tears I am causing. I know this is wrong… but I just __can't. _

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**Chapter 9**

**Wanda's POV**

I sat there, debating. A part of me, my logic sense I think, was telling me Melanie and Sunny found me, still…there was that part of me…my heart I'm guessing, that was telling me, Ian was here, that he loves me. My heart felt that piercing pain again. Stop it, I told myself, I'm only making things so much worst.

There was a sudden sound. The sound of a zipper. I watched as a familiar hand pulled it down, then, entered Ian O'shea. The love of my life. My heart lurched in my chest, beating a thousand times faster, tears of joy gathered in my eyes. I was just _so _happy to see him. His back was to me as he zipped it up again, a small gasp falling from my lips. He turned around quickly, his beautiful face meeting my frantic eyes. He was just as beautiful as I remembered; finally I couldn't take this much longer.

"Ian!" I exclaimed, his name burning my throat, I threw myself at him. Throwing my arms around his neck, I buried my head in his chest, breathing in his scent, that I had missed so much. The scent that has become my most favourite smell in the world. Sobs escaped from me, a tiny smile on my lips.

He had escaped!

My Ian, oh God, Ian was safe. He was _here. _I cried fore I was so happy, something I had not felt in such a long time. I sobbed into his chest loudly clinging myself to him. He felt so warm in my arms, how I had missed this feeling. The feeling of _love. _I lifted my face up to meet his, just how I remember. Wait…there was something. There was something that just wasn't _Ian. _

"How?" I whispered, that's when I saw it.

That silver gleam.

My face fell, and I sobbed for a different reason now. _No, NO, _how could they do this to Ian? _My Ian? _I pulled myself away from him, wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep myself together.

Loud sobs erupted from my chest, as cried "No!"

This pain was all new, this pain was a different type of pain. This pain was _much, much _worst.

"I am not your Ian," Ian's voice said, but I knew, that it was not Ian, it was simply his voice.

I cried, and I cried, the tears never stopping. My Ian was gone, and instead…instead one of _me was _shoved into him. I wept loudly because this soul inside of him, that soul…that soul is exactly like me. I, and him are two of the same kind. This, this right there just brought back the fact that Ian and I, even if there still was an Ian, are not suppose to be. We are not supposed to love each other. This soul did nothing wrong, I think, but it is I, who has done the faults. I am on the wrong side of the fight. I am a soul, yet I love a human. I love an enemy, I love Ian. Now, this man sitting there, was not Ian. It was Ian's body. Just like how my own body is not my own, I am simply using it. But Ian, Ian did nothing! He did not deserve this! I am just as bad as the soul who took his body, because I have taken someone's body too. Even though, _she _would not come back if I left, _she _was the one born in this body. The one who grew in this body, grew until _I _came. I am just as bad as the Healer who shoved the soul into Ian, I am just another intruder.

I lifted my head to see this soul who had taken my love's body. He looked like Ian, he was everything Ian was. But he was not Ian. Ian is _never _coming back. His beautiful blue eyes, and the silver gleam, were distant and widened slightly. He blinked hard a few times, and he flinched, as if someone bit him.

"W-who are you?" I whimpered, another sob breaking through me. I saw him flinch, but I did not care.

"I am Blaze of Fire," He said, his voice bringing on a whole new round of tears, "Blaze for short."

Blaze.

He is the one who has taken my Ian. My beautiful, innocent Ian. Suddenly, Blaze reached towards me, slowly bringing my hands down from my face. I stared at him blankly, my heart beat picking up. This was the first time he had touched me, well when I was conscious. He felt like Ian. He gently laid his hand upon my cheek, the heat from his hand spreading through me like wild fire. The familiar fire that I had felt so many times ago. The tears falling faster down my cheeks, as I shut my eye briefly.

"Ian," I whispered brokenly, it felt _so _much like him, like he use to touch me.

I felt his hand tense up, and I opened my eyes slowly. He winced, as if he was in pain. He was flinching slightly; his eyes seemed far away and clouded. He winced again, and his hands trembled.

"Blaze?" I asked quietly, but he did not seem to hear me.

"Wanda!" He cried, and pulled me towards him, my face buried in his chest, and his arms around my shoulders. Oh, how it felt so familiar. How I missed this embrace so much…

"Wha-"I asked but I was cut off.

Suddenly his lips were on mine. Kissing me the way Ian did. Only it was ferocious, and hard. His lips felt so warm against mine, just like they did. His lips were harder against my own, pushing my lips open. But I did not move fore I was afraid. This was not my Ian! How dare he touch me like he would? How dare he put me through more misery? He pulled away, hurt written across his face. New sobs broke out of me. It _hurt _so much! How could he _do _this to me? It felt so much like Ian, like _he _had kissed me. But that's impossible now. Ian is gone.

"I'm sorry," Blaze apologized, sounding regretful.

I nodded, as I felt my heart slowly pull a part…although it was never complete to begin with, but at least it was still manageable. Now…now all the tiny pieces I had left, all shattered. Life was so cruel, so evil. Sometimes I just wonder, why me? Ian would be so much better without me, he'd have a life. I, am out of nature. I am not supposed to be here! If only there was some way to disappear, to never feel this pain again. One way came to mind. One terrifying way.

Death.

That was the way I could break out from this aching life. No longer would I cry, would I hurt. I wouldn't have to feel regret, sorrow, sadness, anger, ever again. Nothing. Yet also, at the same time, I would never experience love, joy, happiness, excitement, none of those things. I could never smile again, never laugh, never hug. So many things I would lose in the process, so many people I would miss. But none of those things could compare to Ian. Nothing in the _world _could compare to Ian. Life is not worth living without him. Though he is here…his body. He's still not _really _him. It was not Ian who had kissed me. It was the soul. Blaze. I longed for Ian, I wanted to his words, but it was all too much. He was so close…but still so far away.

Then a memory caught up with me, and I watched it with tears in my eyes.

"_No!" I screamed my voice high. The tears came fast blurring my vision, but I could still see Ian's face. Helplessly I reached out to him, and he did the same, out fingers meeting at the briefest instant. And then just as quickly as it had happened we were pulled away. He thrashed against the Seekers, but there were three on him._

"_Wanderer!" He screamed, tears also streaming down his face. I struggled with all my strength, but it was a waste. I watched as they dragged him into a room,_

"_I love you Ian. I swear I do. I'll never stop, I promise." I yelled brokenly, my voice cracking. My blonde hair stuck to my face from my tears which flowed faster and faster, desperate sobs breaking out of my chest._

"_Wanderer, be strong. I love-" There was a slap, and he never got to finish his sentence._

"_Never stop fighting Ian. Never stop!" I yelled to him_

My promise. Yes my promise. I would never stop loving him, which I can keep. I will _never _stop. _Be strong _he had told me. _I'm sorry Ian _I whimpered silently _I cannot be strong. I can't hold on any longer. _

"Wanderer," Blaze whispered, his voice shooting me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him slowly, wiping away my tears. "I…I know you probably don't…want to talk about this now. But…I need to know."

I stared into his eyes, lost again in its familiar gaze, as if Ian was actually watching me from behind those eyes.

"How did you get here Wanderer?" He asked, his voice trembling. "I mean…in the memories, I only saw of…" He tailed off, but I did not need him to tell me. He flinched twice, as if someone was yelling at him.

"I…" I cleared my throat, "Sunny saved me."

I saw him flinched slightly, and a wave of relief washed over his face.

"H-How?" He asked, his eyes blank, as if he was having some sort of vision problem…

"She just…persuaded the…Seekers" flinch, "To let me go and it was all a misunderstanding. But she…we…couldn't get to Ian. Or…we didn't know how." I whispered, tears gathering in my eyes but I brushed them away. I looked up to his face, breathing a sigh. Then my words caught up with me, and I instantly began to panic, it started from my toes and crept its way up to my face, my eyes widening.

"Y-you're not going to turn me in are you!? I mean, I know you're-we're- souls, but you don't have to listen to them! _I _didn't," And look where that got me, "You don't have to either! Oh, please Blaze. Think. Go through Ian's memories, you'll see. _Please._" My breaths were fast, my body trembling slightly. His eyes widen the slightest bit, his face hurt as if I had insulted him.

"I would _never _do that my Wanderer." My Wanderer, damn him to hell. His words brought back those wonderful memories, of Ian and I. It was Ian's voice, so clear, so sure. Tears brimmed over, but I rubbed them away.

"_Wanderer." _Her corrected himself quickly, noticing my tears. "I ran away from the Seekers."

My head shot up, surprised.

"You ran away?" I breathed,

He nodded staring down at his hands.

"They…they wanted me to join the Seekers, and help them capture…the rest of my-_Ian's_- family. But…but as I went through his memories, as I saw how he loves them, I just…I just couldn't do it."

I smiled gently, knowing that I've been through the exact same. He flinched again, twice.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I questioned,

"What?" He mumbled, wincing again.

"_That. _You keep flinching, like you're in pain."

"It's just…hard that all."

Ha, souls were never good liars.

"I know exactly how it is." I told him, trying to comfort him. "To have someone tell you one thing, but it's not what your heart wants. I had to go through that before, but I'm sure you already know that. "

He nodded, "Indeed I do, I know quite a lot about you Wanderer. It's quite amazing actually, all you've been through."

And now, I thought, it seems like I'm on the opposite side of the situation. Now. I know how Jared felt. I know _exactly _how he hated me, how he despised my every move. How hard it is to watch the one you love, be controlled, to be taken. It's like watching them dye in front of your eyes, but so much worse. Because in a way, they do die. They die, but yet they still walk among us, but it's not _them. _

It strings so terribly to watch them live on, knowing it's not them. But still every move they make, reminds you of them, but you know that it is _not _them. To hold them, knowing it's not the same, because it's not him. Every time you long to hold them, you know it's impossible, because they are no longer there. Instead you are being tortured and tormented, as if people purposely did this, just to watch us suffer.

Almost as if the world decided that it was my turn to suffer. It was my turn to have the situation twisted. To see how it felt. And so far world, I don't like it. Not one tiny bit.

Blaze seemed to be in pain for a moment, concentrating on something very hard. His eyebrows pulled down, sweat forming on his forehead, his mouth bent down in a frown. I wondered if he was seeing a memory, like I did before. I remember how the memories seemed so _real. _The pain was real, everything was real. All the feelings your host went through, you felt. The pain, the misery, the torture, the joys, the happiness, the…love. Then I realized, wondered, mostly, if Blaze felt the way Ian did? Did he…? I remember how it felt, when I saw Jared, when I first met him. How every touch made my skin bubble? I wondered, if it was the same for him. I smiled softly, as I remembered how Melanie would fume against my reactions, how she would be so _angry, _and how it would always me flinch-

No. Impossible.

"I-Ian?" I whispered brokenly,

"I'm Blaze," He whispered back, "I am sorry."

"N-no, i-is, he t-there?" I asked tears pooling down my cheeks. I didn't really consider that as an option, but still, something about it made everything seem right. Everything seemed to be put together now, everything made sense. Ian was there, I felt it.

"Is he there!?" I demanded, yelling. He flinched at my anger but did not answer.

"_ANSWER ME!" _I yelled, my voice high.

He dropped his eyes down to the carpet, his mouth closed shut.

_**Ian's **_**POV.**

I watched Wanda, her eyes red from her tears. Her tears which I longed to wipe away. How I longed to wrap _my _arms around her, and tell her I love her. I wanted to do that, not Blaze doing it for me. This body is no longer mine, it is no longer Ian, now, and it is Blaze. Ian is gone. I am gone. I felt like I was intruding, like some stalker in the background. Everyone going on with their lives, not knowing that someone is watching them. A third wheel. A misfit. I don't belong here. Wanda is a soul, _Blaze _is a soul. She doesn't even know I'm here!

"_Ask her how she escape," I urged Blaze._

And so he did. So here I was, listening to their conversation, letting Blaze run through my memories. So vulnerable, so helpless.

"_Wanda," I whimpered, _

I watched her through someone else's eyes, and I watched how his words had hurt her. I wished I was there, so badly I wish I was there. I know my pain bother Blaze. Well good. He winced every so often, when my sorrow would flood through us. My thoughts also his. Wanda and Blaze are the same, they are the _same. _Now I knew, how Melanie felt. To feel so helpless, trapped inside your own body. To want to hold them, but you can't because you can no longer control your own body. We watch our lives pass by. We just stay in here and _watch. _Watch as the person we love cry, watch as she stares at you the way she would. I wonder if she knows I'm in here, if maybe she just knew, because she loves me.

"Love conquers everything, Ian." She had told me once, "We'll always be together." Always. I stared at her as she talked, her lips trembling every second or so. I sighed with relief that she was safe. That she was _okay. _Even if I am trapped inside here, I'm glad. I'm glad because _my _Wanderer is okay. She's alive, she's here. She's here…but not within my reach.

As if a glass wall is placed between us, separating us. But still at the same time forcing us to stare into each other's eyes. To see that the person _is _there, but we just can't get to them. My sadness grew stronger, and Blaze winced again. Then suddenly, Wanda asked the question that made my heart-if I still had one- explode.

"Ian?" She breathed,

"I'm Blaze." He answered automatically, "I am sorry."

"No is he there?" Her voice was trembling, tears in her eyes.

"_YES!" I screamed, "I'M HERE WANDA! I'M HERE!"_

Blaze did not answer, he dropped his eyes to the ground, regret creeping up.

"Is he there!?" She yelled, her voice loud, never have I saw her this angry.

"ANSWER ME!" She screeched, her eyes deadly.

He did not.

"_ANSWER HER! TELL HER I'M HERE!" I yelled along with her. "TELL HER. NOW!"_

Tears gathered in his eyes but he wiped them away. He opened his mouth to speak, his words, and my fate soon following after.

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**Hahah, ooo cliffy. Oh and just for the record, no, Wanda is not suicidal. I'm just hating Blaze so for how about you? Also, another tiny favour. Get my stories out there would ya? I wrote another story Perfectly Fine, which I think is pretty good, so please read it and review. And tell people! So far, I am still yet to be discovered. Really, tell people. Please?**

**REVIEW !!**


	11. Chapter 10

**Hey there fanfictioners,**

**I'm really sorry for not updating on time; I got quite a few comments on that. Well…I know the excuses are always the same but I'm not going to lie, things have been really busy. Tons of homework, and all that stuff going on. But I never stop writing that I promise you. It just takes me long, or sometimes I work on something different *hint hint* for those who haven't read my newest story, "Perfectly Fine." Please do. **

**Last Chapter (Ch9)**

"_ANSWER ME!" She screeched her eyes deadly._

_He did not._

"_ANSWER HER! TELL HER I'M HERE!" I yelled along with her. "TELL HER. NOW!"_

_Tears gathered in his eyes but he wiped them away. He opened his mouth to speak, his words, and my fate soon following after._

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**Chapter 10.**

**Blaze's POV**

"_TELL HER. NOW!" Ian screamed at me._

Tears gathered in my eyes but I wiped them away quickly, ashamed of my weakness. Both of them now, Ian and Wanderer, both furious with me. Why are they so cruel? I cannot control these feelings, they over power me with nothing I have experienced before. Wanderer now had tears streaming down her face. Not the tears I was used to, it was not sad tears, but tears of anger. I opened my mouth slowly, unsure of my answer. It was all so confusing! A part of me felt regret and pain for what I had done, how I was separating these two lovers. I do not like the pain that I know I am causing. Then, another part of me felt the feelings towards Wanderer. How I wanted her to choose me. After all, I am a soul. It would be so easy…so simple. Just like that. She would love me, I think. She could if she tried. Yet I wonder if she did, if it was just because I remind her, correction, believes I am Ian. That she loves Ian so much that she has to be with him, even if it is not him.

"He is not here." I said quietly, my eyes dropping, my voice cracking.

"_LAIR! TELL HER THE TRUTH. TELL HER!" Ian screamed his voice high. _

"I saw that!" Wanderer accused, "Right there, he's mad at you. I can tell, Blaze. I was once in your same position. Your flinches do not go unnoticed."

"I…" I tailed off, my mind going blank.

"_Ha," Ian smirked, _

I felt his arrogance and joy in his Wanderer. I felt his pride, his contentment in her knowledge; I saw where his thoughts were going. She loves him, is what he concluded with. And not even I could turn them apart. My guts twisted, at that. My heart clenching tightly.

"Do not lie to me," Wanderer told me, her voice strong and full of authority, "He is there. Admit it. IAN. IS. THERE."

I flinched at her outburst, cutting through me. My heart surely being pulled out and tortured slowly. I cannot help myself! I wish I could, I truly wish I could just _let _them be together. I saw how happy they had been. How love shone in their eyes, how both of them were just so in love, so happy. Those memories haunted me, and cut through me dozens of times. It hurt. Truly it did to see them like that, knowing I was-

"_Hurts huh? _You're _the one hurting!" Ian yelled, "Poor little Blaze. Maybe you should suffer more."_

Quickly, before I could protest, he threw a memory at me. This was something I couldn't just dodge, it was impossible. I watched in pain as it flashed through my head.

"_Ian," She whispered a small smile on her lips as she clung to me. Her eyes shut, her head rested against my chest. She sat upon my lap as we woke that morning. I pulled her to me, as every morning went. Still drowsy she laid her head on my chest, slipping into sleep as I wrapped my arms around her tiny body. _

"_Wanderer," I whispered back, knowing she could no longer hear me. My thumb grazed her cheek slowly, my fingertips bursting into flames at the touch. It did not hurt though, it was fireworks. She was so beautiful, so delicate. Her soft blonde hair covered her face, and I brushed it away, wanting to see her glorious face. Her eyes fluttered open slowly, yawning. _

"_Hi…" She breathed as her eyes met mine._

_Her beautiful eyes._

_I saw the silver stream there. I saw _her. _And she's beautiful._

"_Good morning." I answered her kissed her lips quickly. She smiled before pulling me down towards her, knowing what she wanted I let my lips pressed against her. Smiling softly, I gave into her need. How lucky I am, to have this Wanderer. Out of all the planets she had visited, out of all the people, or err, things, she'd met, she loves me. Me. No better than any other human on this entire planet. Let alone any other soul. It seems impossible. To have to her love me. Me a human. _

_I pulled away from her breathlessly, love burning in my eyes. Her hands held me tighter to her, as if she was too afraid to let go. How amazing it could be, to be attached to someone, how we could feel this beautiful thing called love. How one person controls your very life, that when gone, your life would have no meaning? No reason to continue without the love in your life, because without love you are nothing, love is what completes our very lives. _

"_I love you, Wanda." I whispered to her. She smiled again, how beautiful that smile was._

"_I love you too, Ian." Her voice answered,_

"_Only I?" I questioned her playfully, nuzzling her closer, as she laughed softly._

"_Of course only you." She said with certain tone. "Only you." She promised, "Never anyone else."_

I gasped as I was pulled out of the memory, tears falling freely down my face. My face that was surely covered with pain, and torture. A sob worked its way up, but I fought it down. Only him. _Only him. _She loves only him. But I am him right? This is his body.

"_No," Ian protested, "You're NOT me, you never will be. I am Ian, you on the other hand is some intruder placed on earth to make both our lives miserable." _

"_Wanderer doesn't know that." I snapped back,_

_Ian laughed a shrill high laugh, a laugh that made me shiver. Ian was suddenly hysterical. _

"_OH she knows. SHE KNOWS! Not even _you _can hold us a part. You're not Ian; she knows that, you're a soul! A soul! A soul that had no right to take my body. Admit it, you are not Ian, nor are you Blaze! You are NOTHING! You just an alien, an alien that controls my body. Your kind was not meant to be here."_

"_You realize…" I said; hurt devouring over me, "You just insulted your little Wanderer."  
My rage building at his words, so I hit him below the belt. Right where I knew it would hurt the most._

_Ian silenced after that, though I could feel his surprise and regret. _

"Wanderer," I addressed her, tears no longer in my eyes. "I am not your Ian." I repeated, strong. A new tone to my voice.

"But he's there." She pressed, shifting closer to me. Her eyes pleading, almost begging me to say yes. My lips were pressed in a hard line. My face angry, yet so hurt at the same time.

"What do you think?" I asked, looking away, slightly annoyed.

"He's there." She said, smiling slightly. Smug.

"If you know, then why are you asking?" I grumbled, darting my eyes to the ground. From the corner of my eyes I saw joyous tears fall down her face, a smile plastered on her lips.

"I knew it…" She breathed, shutting her eyes in contentment. I scowled, as I felt Ian's happiness too. How can everyone be so damn happy? While I'm left here to willow in my pain. "I knew he wouldn't give up."

She moved closer towards me, so she was kneeling in front of me. Our eyes in the same level, our knees touching. Slowly, she brought her hand to my face, as I shut my eyes at her lovely touch. Automatically leaning into her hand.

"Ian…" She breathed, "Ian," She repeated.

I opened my eyes, hoping she wouldn't see the pain. So much pain!

"Can…I know this must sound ridiculous, but…can…can I t-talk to him?" She asked me, her voice quiet, I opened my mouth but was cut off. "I mean, I know how _confusing _this must be. I know that, I know how it hurts, Blaze. I understand, truly I do. But please, I love my Ian. I-if you'd only consider…there is still a way, Blaze." She told me,

"What is it you mean?" I questioned her, thought I already know the answer.

"There's still a way." She repeated, "There's a way, I can get to my Ian. But you can still have your happily ever after."

I realized what she meant, "Oh," I sighed, "Yes, I am…well-informed on the procedure. Your Ian has a very good memory."

"It must be very hard, but Blaze, I'm not asking you to sacrifice your life, just…give me back Ian. We'll find you another host, you can choose it if you like, you can still-"

"I do not want a life, if you are not a part of it." I whispered softly.

She looked taken aback, surprised, yet I still saw she understood. I knew she understand, because once upon a time ago she was in my same position.

"The feelings, you feel…" She whispered, "I know how it is. I understand, Blaze. But it's not _your _feelings you have towards me. It's Ian's. You-"

I cut her off, "The feelings I have, Wanderer. Are all mine. Ian has nothing to do with this."

Her eyes almost went black, hate crossed her face for an instant, and "Ian has _everything _to do with this." She growled angrily. "It is not your feelings. I mean, that's how I felt towards Jared. I thought he was everything to me, but really, Blaze. It was not _I _feeling those things. It was Melanie."

I shook my head furiously, how could she doubt this?

"I love you, Wanderer." I told her, my eyes burning with love, love I possessed for her.

"Blaze," She moaned, her eyes shutting in frustration, "It is _Ian _you must understand! And if you did possess this feeling, Blaze. I am sorry but I do not feel that way, and you know it. Please…please may I have my Ian back?"

I stared at her, so beautiful, how this tiny soul could make my heart swell. How one person could bring tears to my eyes, blood to my cheeks, and love into my heart. I love her, whether she believe me or not. The question is,

Do I love her enough?

Do I love her enough to let go? To let her be happy, to let her be with her Ian. Sometimes when you really love someone, you do only what is best for them, simply because you want them happy. You want them to be content, to smile, to laugh. But I know both that smile and that laugh will never be mine, and I hers. Her heart does not belong to me, but mine to hers. I must now make the choice between love and lust. Both in which I have.

I lust for her, to hold her in my arms, stroke her hair, and kiss her lips. To have her whisper _my _name in love. To have her love me, and not Ian. Love me, not because I am in his body, but because I am Blaze. I also love her, my heart only wants what is best for her. And if I am not what is best, if I come second in her mind, then I guess that is the course I will take. If it means that she will smile, a smile I had caused, then I shall.

Because I love her.

"I will…my Wanderer. I agree." I whispered, my head dropping down. "If I may ask of one favour though?"

She smiled slightly, nodding her head. "_Anything!"_

"The body, in which you put me in, could it…could it be like yours? No one to yell at me?"

She smiled softly, "Of course, Blaze. Anything you want." I moved away slowly, my head spinning, I wanted to lie down; I wanted to close my eyes and for at least a few hours forget this. Forget my pain. I slide away from her, though it was a small tent, there was still distance between us. As I was about to collapse into the mattress, and moved towards me quickly.

I watched her suspiciously, as she slowly placed her hand upon my, wrapping her other arm around my shoulder, her head on my shoulder. I froze, surprised, but thrilled at the same time.

"_Thank _you, Blaze of Fire. Thank you so, so much." She whispered, and even then I could feel her tears leak its way through my shirt, hesitantly, I placed my hand on her blond hair, stroking it gently.

"Anything to make you happy, my Wanderer. You and your Ian will meet again." I told her; kissing her head gently, knowing only now would Ian let me. He owes me. She slides away from me, a sad smile on her face; she moved to the mattress on the other side of the tent and lay down, her face away from mine. Moments later I too, fell into the mattress, shutting my eyes.

"_Thank you…Blaze." I heard Ian whisper softly. "I…I cannot thank you enough. I-I apologize, Blaze. For what I have said. You are a kind person, who did not deserve my anger."_

"_It is alright," I answered him; "I wish you and Wanderer, many years of happiness." _

Without me. And with that, I drifted into a deep slumber.

**Wanda's POV.**

I let my aches evaporate into the mattress beneath me. My breath even, in and out. I did not fall asleep when I lay down. I knew Blaze was asleep, he snored, like Ian. I turned my body, so I now faced Blaze. I watched him and my Ian sleep. I would have my Ian with me soon enough. Soon I will feel his arms around me, and I will hear him whisper he loves me. Blaze is a good person, it is not his fault…that I understand.

My thoughts drifted back to the time where I had loved Jared, when every finger he laid on me, causing my skin to burst to flames. How I had believed that I loved him, how foolish I was. My heart lurched slightly as I remembered how I would never see my dear friend again. I miss him terribly. My thoughts then wandered to the rest of my family. I imagined them alone, and hungry. I want to help them; I want to give them shelter, food, love. But I do not know how. I do not even know where they _are. _

Then again, my thoughts wandered to Melanie and Sunny. Are they worrying about me now? I had been only gone a day or so. Are they mad? Are they afraid? Questions, I will never have the answer to until I see them. I shall see them soon. We shall all go together; we shall get the things we need. Then, finally, can my Ian return to me. Then, and only then, will my heart be completed.

Then, will my heart beat in rhythm to Ian's. Then, I will smile my truest smile, not this fake one that has been plastered on my face for days. Only then shall I be truly happy. Because I have my Ian. We'd have to find Blaze a host that I know. That part could be…tricky.

My head began to ache as my thoughts whirled out of control. That has been happening a lot lately. At one point my head will finally explode from all the problems that is weighing down my shoulders. Pain I am willing to endure to get to my Ian. My eyes drooped slowly, and soon I was unconscious.

**The next day.**

I woke slowly, rubbing my eyes. I yawned and stretched, and then I froze. Every nerve in my body seemed to freeze, my heart thumping wildly in my chest. I was not in the place where I had fallen asleep. I was not _alone. _

Blaze had his arms around me, sleeping contently beside me. I felt his heat flow through my body, his arms, one around my waist, and the other around my shoulder. Ian. Is what my heart told me, yet Blaze it what my head said. It felt like Ian, but logically I know better than to let myself believe that.

My head was resting on the pillow next to his chest, his head just above mine, and a content smile on his face. It felt wonderful, it felt so familiar, and it felt like _Ian. _It felt wrong.

I squirmed out of his arms, my heart over reacting. His hand felling to the ground with a thump, his eyes opening with surprise. He sat up next to me quickly, sending me a questioning look. Then I saw the realization wash over his face, then confusion, as he too noticed how close I was to him. I shifted away from his carefully, both of us staring into each other's eyes. None of us spoke, none of us moved; I don't think we even blinked.

"I…" I what? There was no way I could explain this, "I'm sorry." Was the best I could do.

He dropped his head down starring at the mattress. How I must be torturing him. How can I be so cruel? I acted on instinct…it was something I was use to. Something I would always do with Ian, it came naturally.

He stood slowly, his face tortured, almost close to tears. He shook his head, dazed. What a terrible person I am. How I torture him more, how I take his heart and stab a knife into it, watching him cry out in pain. I give him this…this shimmer of hope, of the one thing he wants the most, and then I take it away so quickly he has no chance at recovery. I remember how people were so cruel to me when I had first arrived.

I remember the time when Jared had kissed me. I remember how it made my heart explode with love and passion that I held for him, and I remembered how it had hurt and angered Melanie, now I wonder if Ian had the same reaction. Again I remembered how I had felt, how he had kissed me, making my whole world have meaning, then, I remembered how he had not kissed _me, _but Melanie, fore I was Wanda, not Melanie. I remember the confusion and pain I had dealt, some would call Jared insane and malicious to bring me such pain. Some would call him foolish, for realising a whole new pain upon my innocent heart. I am just as malicious, foolish, and insane. Fore I have done the same. I am too torturing someone in the worst way possible. I am hurting him in the worst way, physical pain would be nothing compared to the pain that I had bestowed on his heart.

"It is not your fault my Wanderer." He said quietly, "I shall…get our food ready."

I watched him slowly leave, my heart swelling, he looked at me quickly, and I saw something in his eyes, something that I had not seen before. Something incredibly new.

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**Well that's the end of that chapter. Truth be told, I have no idea where this story is heading. I'm simply using my imagination, and have no clue of how this is going to end…yet. So you're not the only one clueless here. Just know that I'm not a happily ever sort of girl, so you have been warned. This may not end well =)… though I'm willing to change my mind if you have any suggestions. **


	12. Chapter 11

**I apologize for the late chapter. AGAIN. I suppose you guys are fed up with me by now, and I'm really sorry. I'll tell you why though, but it's not much of an excuse. I'm moving, and I didn't get to my computer for the last days, and when I finally got to it. ALL my work was gone. GONE, POOF. Not only my fanfiction but my school work. And you know, school always comes first, so I had to finish those on time. Then I practically had to start back to base one for this chapter. SORRY!**

**Last Chapter (Ch10)**

"_It is not your fault my Wanderer." He said quietly, "I shall…get our food ready."_

_I watched him slowly leave, my heart swelling, he looked at me quickly, and I saw something in his eyes, something that I had not seen before. Something incredibly new._

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**Chapter 11. **

**Blaze's POV.**

"It is not your fault my Wanderer," I told her quietly, tears creeping into my eyes, my throat tight, "I shall get our food ready."

Sadness washed over me, this was something I was familiar with, and sadness has been with me for all the minutes since I was put into Ian's body, I am not surprised. But there was something I am not familiar with…something I did not like.

Anger.

I felt my anger bubble up from inside and devour over my body, my eyes, shining with fury. I saw Wanderer take it in, both surprising me and her.

My hands were in fists at my side, my jaw set, and breathing heavy. Wanderer opened her mouth to speak, with a small growl I stepped outside, my gaze intense. She reached out to me but I took off, needing to be away from her.

Sometimes when you try so hard to be what others want, try to be the gentle loving person they picture you as, the imperfections just bubble up inside of you, until you explode. I try so hard to keep myself calm, to make Wanderer happy, but right now, I have finally lost it.

I jogged towards a clearing, a cliff, the cliff where Wanderer had fallen. I sat on a rock and let my head fall into my hands, sighing loudly. I slumped over, letting my weakness get the better of me. For once I allowed myself to let go, to _cry. _I did not fear weakness. I was ashamed of it.

My hands were in fists, my expression deadly, I tried to calm myself. But the pain had brought on something entirely new. I was _mad. _Mad because of the cruel fate I was in. How I'm _stepping aside _and _letting _someone else take the one I love. And I'm just going to sit and _watch. _And yet, after I agree to her terms, she has the need to torture me further.

The smell of her hair…the feeling of her skin against mine, a sword through my heart would do far more damage than her lightest touch. When we touched it was like an electric current, try sleeping with that. Of course I did not get much sleep when I woke in the night to find Wanderer curled up against me, to feel her breath against my skin…to hear her heart beat beating so steadily in my ear. All those things felt wonderful. Like I won a million dollars, the rush, like you're swept of your feet, truly magical. Then, as that feeling hit, it simply reminds me of all _I can't have. _

It's like I'm in a cage, forced to watch as I am helpless. All I can do is simply watch; I can't do anything about this. Why? Because she does not love me. No one does.

Am I a coward? Is that it? Am I just too afraid? Am I so weak that I am just going to let this happen? Drop my gun, and let myself be shot in the head? Move out of the way so that the one person I love can love another.

How I'm just _stepping aside, _and watching her, watching them be happy. _Everyone _will be happy, so wonderful to have their precious Ian back. No one cares about poor innocent Blaze right? I am nothing but another obstacle that they overcame; I would be remembered as nothing more than a painful memory. A time where I had separated them, nothing more than another wall in their love, another wall they managed to climb.

After Ian is back, after _I leave _everyone will forget me, I am nothing to them. I mean nothing, no one _cares _about me. So who will notice my absence?

Wanderer will not care…after she has her Ian. Nothing matters to her as long as she has him, he makes her happy, he makes her forget what else she cares about, because the love she has for him overpowers all the rest. I know if I am to ask of death, if I am to put myself in the same position Wanderer put herself in a long time ago, I know I shall be refused. Because her heart is only made of kindness. She would never allow me to do that…I know that.

But I also know that the only reason that Wanderer is alive today is because someone cared about her. Doc cared about her life, Jamie loved Wanderer full heartedly, Melanie as her sister, and Ian as his life. What about me?

No one is there to love me; no one is there to cry when I am gone. Sure, Wanderer would shed a tear or two, but the happiness with Ian will overtake that, and I will just be forgotten.

I am fine with that, I am fine without arms I can run to, without a shoulder to cry on. I am fine without love…who needs it anyways.

Love. What is it really? All I know is that it gives you this…feeling, which is different for everyone. But really, what is love? Some powerful force that comes down upon your heart and crushes it? Is it instinct? That our very lives and purposes are to find the one we love. Or is it our foolishness? Getting the better of us, maybe love is like stupidity, it blinds us from the truth, from reality. But sometimes, people don't care if their stupid, they just care for the one they love, God, what idiots.

I will just take myself out of the picture, no one will notice. I will easily pull myself away, where I will let death take me. So for once I will be causing no one anymore pain. But mostly… this pain, I feel will finally leave me. I will no longer have to suffer; no longer will I see my beautiful Wanderer love another, fore I will never see again.

I will only pray that she lives her life to her fullest…for me. So I know that I left her in safe loving hands, hands which are not my own. If I cannot be the one to hold her, the one who she loves, then I shall not _be _period. When I leave, I can only leave my hope with her, nothing else.

"_Blaze…"Ian whispered softly, his words hesitant yet gentle. "You cannot leave, you cannot do this."_

"_And why not?" I smirked, ignorance and anger filling my gut._

"_Because, you will be missed." He stated, "By both Wanderer and I."_

"_You will not miss me," I accused, my eyes narrowing, "You and your Wanderer will have nothing to miss, you will have each other."_

"_I'll tell her." Ian threatened, his voice slightly frantic._

"_I will be dead by then." I told him, smugly. _

"_Please, Blaze. Don't do this. You are family. If there if anything I can do-"_

"_Anything you can do?" I yelled, "Anything? You could LET YOUR PRECIOUS WANDERER LIVE!"_

_He silenced by then, his pain starting slowly now._

"_You are holding her back from a life she needs. _You. _Not even I, you are the one _separating _her. Separating her from a _life. _She could have a normal soul life, you know. She could be happy with another soul, yet instead, what is she doing? SHE IS HIDING IN CAVES. Her own kind is hunting her, she is an outcast, all because of you. _YOU _are holding her back from happiness." I yelled at him, my anger bringing a side to me that I did not like._

"_I…" He whispered, I felt his pain radiating through me now, but it was nothing compared to my anger._

I stared down at the cliff before, and I suddenly understand what people feel like, when they hunger for death. Am I suicidal? Why yes, yes I am. After all, there is no one to live for, everything is perfectly fine with or without me, why am I to make a difference? Why am I to stay at I place where I am clearly rejected. Why am I to love someone who does not love me...

Why is to so hard…to love me? I think everyone deserves to have someone to loves them, someone to help them hold themselves together when you can't. I have no one to hold me together, so as I speak, I am crumbling.

Suddenly a loud shrilling scream erupted from behind me, Wanderer's scream. My heart instantly picking up, and I could tell Ian was as alert as I was. I stood up quickly and ran over to her tent.

What could have possibly happened? Spider, maybe.

"Stop!" She screamed, I heard her struggling and I ran faster. No, please no. Not my Wanderer, they cannot take her. My feet treading on the desert ground, dust flying around me.

Suddenly a sharp pain was in the side of my head, then next thing I knew I was on the ground, darkness taking over me…

**Wanda's POV.**

He is angry. Well of course he is, he has every right, and I do not hold it against him. I am such a vile person. I mean _really, _what is _wrong _with me? I have this insane desire to torment people?

I pondered over my thoughts in silence, when I heard the zipper come down slowly. I straightened myself up, opening my mouth to apologize to Blaze. I turned my head to find myself starring into the eyes of Melanie.

I screamed in surprise and fell backwards into the mattress. She gasped and fell forward next to me.

My eyes widened as did hers, "WANDA!" She gasped and pulled me to her for a hug. I let her warmth run through me, enjoying her presences. "What _happened _to you! I mean first you wanderer of then you don't come _back. _Do you understood how _worried _we are!"

"Stop!" I yelled a little too loudly. "You're ranting."

She closed her mouth, and folded her hands in her lap.

"I kind of…well, it's hard to explain, but I believe I can show you." I told her, grabbing her hand and pulling her outside. The sun was hot against my skin but I did not care. "Where's Sunny?"

"Well, she was behind me last time I checked." She grumbled looking around, "I swear that girl scares me sometimes, who knew she could through such a tantrum?" I laughed and looking around and my eyes landed on a very angry Sunny, and a very unconscious Blaze.

"What did you do?" I screamed running towards them and fell to my knees where Blaze lay. His eyes closed his mouth slack. "Oh my Lord. YOU KILLED HIM!" I pointed my finger at Sunny who stared at me with a bored expression.

"I didn't _kill _him. Just knocked him unconscious!" She told me, rolling her eyes before adding, "Oh by the way, you're welcome."

"Welcome for what!" I screeched, pulling him onto my lap.

"Saving your life!" She yelled, Melanie was watching us with an amused smile.

"What did you do, throw his head against the rock!"

"Something like that." She grumbled and crouched down next to me. She seemed to freeze, her eye wide and her mouth almost hit the floor. "HE LOOKS LIKE IAN!"

"That's because he _is _Ian!" I yelled at her.

"But he's a soul." She whispered, her voice shaking. I felt tears spring into my eyes but I forced them back.

"I'll explain later, please just help me carry him back to camp." I whispered, and they nodded. Slowly we lifted him and carried him to the tent, he was a lot heavier than I expected.

We all groaned as we placed him carefully on the mattress, and we all sat down in the other bed, out eyes never leaving Blaze.

"Explain." Melanie's voice commanded.

"Well, I…I kind of f-fell off a cliff and-"

"YOU CAN'T JUST FALL OFF A CLIFF!" Sunny protested, then turned towards Melanie her eyes like daggers, "I _told _you she was suicidal! I just _told _you! But no!" She yelled and threw her hands dramatically in the air. "'She won't do that, Sunny. She's strong, she can handle herself.'" She mocked, doing a perfect imitation of Melanie. Melanie just stared at her as if she was crazy, as did I.

"I think it's the sun. It's finally getting to her." Melanie said, watching Sunny hyperventilate, and I nodded my head in agreement.

"May I continue?" I asked, and they both nodded, "As I said, I fell and well, Blaze rescued me he-"

"Wait!" Sunny interrupted holding her hands up as if she was stopping traffic, "Who's Blaze?"

Melanie smacked her in the back of her head, "Shut up and let her explain."

I pointed my chin at Blaze who was still unconscious, "Can you let me talk?" She nodded and covered her mouth with her hand. "Anyways, that's Blaze…he's in Ian's body. It's like me though…" I whispered, "Ian is still there, he talks to Blaze, like Melanie did to me."

I saw Melanie's eye widened and look at Blaze with an expression that I did not understand. Hate? Love? Understanding? It was a mix of everything.

"I…he…" How am I to explain this? "He feels the same way I felt for Jared. B-But he agreed to let me move him into a d-different body, so I can't have Ian back." My voice shook, and it took all my strength not to cry.

"We have to get him to our campsite, when he wakes up." Melanie whispered her eyes dropping to the ground. "And…in order to complete that…" She seemed to be at loss of words; she took a deep breath then tried again "So we can get Ian back we're going to have to go on raid."

"Yes, I'll need a lot of things…" I whispered, Ian was father than I thought.

"We'll need to find a host." Sunny whispered her voice almost impossible to hear.

"Yes, we will have to do that too." I whispered, my heart seemed so soar and evaporate at the same time. I was happy to have my friends back, and soon to have my Ian back. Yet I think of those who I will never find again. Jared, Jamie, Lily, Jeb, Doc, Kyle, Heidi, Brandt…so many others. How can one be truly happy knowing that?

I know it's irrational, to worry about that. It's like going on vacation but instead of enjoying the palm trees and sun you're worried about the plain crashing on your way back. Yet it is my family, the people I love. I cannot help by worry. I feel so torn. Incomplete.

"Wanda." Melanie whispered, her voice gave me the shivers. Something was off, way off. "We should tell you something."

She looked over at Sunny, something passed between them, something they were hiding from me. It scared me. Sunny gave her a small nod, and my insides twisted.

"We…uhm…we f-found…" She stammered, her eyes instantly filling with tears, she looked at Sunny, pleadingly.

"We found the others." Sunny whispered, and my heart stopped, tears springing into my eyes.

"Who?" I gasped, the tears falling freely. My heart lurched, goose bumps along my skin.

"Doc, J-Jeb, L-Lily, Heidi," I counted them off mentally in my head, "Aaron, J-Jamie," I breathed a sigh of relief, "And Travis."

"Oh, dear Lord." I whispered, my family! "What happened to the rest?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.

"Dead, gone, hiding. I don't know." Sunny whispered, all of our eyes filled with tears. Mine were tears of joy, but something about Melanie and Sunny made me feel odd. Something was not right.

"Something's wrong." I stated, staring them in the eye.

They looked at each other and Melanie cleared her throat.

"Your right." She told me, grasping my hand, "Something is wrong. Terribly wrong."

My whole body seemed to shake, everything seeming to turn into a blur. I tried desperately to hold on to reality, to keep myself together.

"T-Tell me please." I whispered, though I was too afraid to actually know.

"Their dying." They whispered.

Then my world came crashing down.

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**I know that was short, sorry. But it's important, critical things happened! I know you're probably thinking "I waited all that time for this!" I know, I know, I'm sorry, truly I am. I'm trying my hardest and I hope you guys can stick with me.**

**Also I am looking for a Host expert who I can be in constant communication with. Someone who knows the Host by heart, and can answer hopefully a few of my questions, I'd like to have someone to run over my story with me, sort of like a sidekick you know? Help is wanted! I need someone to look over my plot, point out parts that don't make sense because of the way the person is partnered or maybe they died in the book! Thanks!**


	13. Chapter 12

**Thanks to all my little helpers out there! I'll stay in contact with you guys and PM you when I have some questions or I'm going to post questions like I'm going to do in this chapter. And…I know I haven't updated in like…forever! And I really have no excuse this time. See I started this other story…Twilight story…which in my opinion is really good and I hope you guys check it out. But I got a wee bit obsessed with it. Then Christmas came and boxing day…couldn`t miss out on those, then New Years…then the whole family drama bit. Not much of an excuse I know, so here is your long awaited chapter. **

**Question: How old is Jamie? #2: Could you name ALL the host characters? Or at least the ones at the cave who lived in hiding, this is critical you don't forget anyone. **

**Song for chapter: ****You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I'll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds- by Mayday Parade. Long title, awesome song, I love them. Doesn't relate MUCH but does partly. **

**Last Chapter (Ch11)**

_T-Tell me please." I whispered, though I was too afraid to actually know._

"_Their dying." They whispered._

_Then my world came crashing down._

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**Chapter 12.**

**Wanda's POV.**

I enter the tent quickly, tears of pain, pain so strong that no other feeling could over power, in my eyes. The news so unbelievable. Have you ever heard something so…so horrible that you refuse to believe it? This is one of those cases. I refuse to believe that my family or what's left of it is dying. Why are things so much harder than they already were? Why are we being tortured like this? I feel like one of those ants under a microscope being burned to death by earth children who laugh while you scream in pain.

First we were captured, then we were separated, then Sunny, and Jared, and then the whole Blaze-Ian thing, now _this. _

_This horrible cruel twisted fate! _

My innocent family! The humans who have loved me, and who I have loved in return. The humans who have accepted me into their lives, only to have it taken away from them. All their kindness, all their generosity is nothing anymore. You would have thought that their kindness would have paid for something that their kind hearts would save them from this evil fate, but no, it didn't. Stuff like that doesn't matter in this cruel world. This world, in truth, is an ugly, grieving, place where people are forced to live a life that is atrocious. Where, when it comes down to it, the love, the happiness, the kindness, is nothing when you are condemned to hell. This is my hell. I'm already in hell. I cannot a imagine a place where the pain could be worse.

Bad things happen to good people. That's what it is. And what about the people who sin? What about them? What about the people who only have hatred into their hearts? Do they not suffer the fraction of pain we must go through? Must it always be the kindest of souls to live such cruelty? Is there never any justice?

They have done nothing wrong but try to live in _their _planet. The one we so viciously took from them. I hate my kind, I hate _myself. _All our happiness from before, all our laughs, and our smiles are only but a memory of what we have lost. Is there noting but terror in this world? Are things not allowed to be okay? Must there always be something that goes wrong.

I ask too many questions, I realize that now. But it's not my fault! When life throws me this…this _mess _at my face_, _of course I'm going to ask questions. Does this mean nothing to no one but me? Suddenly my eyes landed on a small figure, far skinnier than I would have remembered.

Jamie.

That`s the first thing that came to mind. He just...laid there. On the mattress. His usual tanned skin was ghostly pale, his breathing laboured. His eyes were shut closed, sweat on his forehead. Next to him were Aaron and Travis, both of them in the same condition as Jamie. They looked horrible. The sight of them…so innocent, so _sick._ It's so wrong, Jamie is too young… his life is still ahead of him. But then again, evil and pain have no limits; it doesn't stop because some is young, or if someone is beautiful. It devours over them just the same, causing the same heart wrenching feeling.

"Jeb and Doc are in another tent." Melanie whispered behind me. "Lily and Heidi are in another."

Both of our eyes landed on the unconscious Jamie, both our eyes holding that longing and pain for the boy who lay there. We both loved him equally because we both used to be one.

"Oh God." I cried and burst into sobs, the weight of all the problems that had been hanging above my head all came crashing down as I fell to the ground.

"Oh Wanderer." Melanie whispered and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "I would say its okay but…but I'm not going to lie. I know this is bad, and I know that we're in a situation that seems impossible…but we can't give up. Not yet."

I cried into her shoulder. "Where did you find them?"

"We went searching for you." She said quietly, "We found them in a cave, we looked for the others but there's not sign of them. We went on raid quickly, grabbing more tents and supplies. We couldn't get much medicine because we had to hurry back; after all you were still missing. Sunny…didn't take things too well, you know, Kyle and all."

I saw that Melanie had tears running down her face, and I saw she was trying to be brave, trying to be strong. But once and a while, we all need to show weakness.

"Jared is in a better place now." I told her, knowing where her mind was. Her eyes filled with pain and a small sob escaped from her lips.

"I tell myself that every day." She whispered her voice cracking. "That he's better off where he is now. That it would be better that he was not here…but it's so hard. I _w-want _him here. I miss him; I miss every part of him."

I hugged her tightly. "He doesn't feel pain anymore. He escaped it, he's happy."

"Do you believe in heaven?" She asked me, her eyes shining with tears. "Do you believe that we actually go to a place with golden gates and choirs of angels when we die?"

I hesitated, staring at her closely. Her chest was heaving up and down, her features almost begging for me to say yes. I've never been much for religion, so I don't know _what _I believe in.

"I don't know if there's a heaven…" I murmured, and Melanie's face fell. "But," I said quickly. "I know that once we die, we go somewhere better. No matter _where _it is, it's just not here. When we die…I think that…well I don't know what I think. I just know that anywhere other than where we are now would be a blessing. Anywhere we can we escape this pain, this sick cruel life, is heaven. No matter the definition."

She sniffed, "Do you think Jared is in heaven?"

I chose my words carefully. "I know that he's happy, the he's no longer in pain. And I also know, Melanie. That he is always with you. He loves you, and you love him, that will never change."

Tears fell faster down her cheeks and she nodded, hugging herself closer to me. "Thank you."

We sat there in silence, dwelling in out sorrows. All the pain that has been inflicted on us, all the times we've tried to be strong all crumbled against us, hitting us with full force. The loss of love, the absence of love, but most importantly the endangered love. We have lost so much already, we are not going to lose more.

"This is a mess." I grumbled eventually.

"It is," She agreed. "We're going to have to get more medicine. We need cool, heal, all those stuff. We can't risk anymore time. And while we're at it, we'll get some for your little…procedure."

I smiled sadly. "I understand how you must have felt." I said quietly. "Being trapped in there. I can relate now, because it's Ian. Ian is in there, but he can't… he c-can't…"

"It's fine." Melanie soothed gently. "We'll get him in time. Once we find a host and get the right-"

"Why is it all so complicated?" I cried, "Why can't people just live happily?!"

"Because," Melanie whispered, "This is reality. And happiness comes at a price."

I sniffled and stood up quickly, reaching my hand down to Melanie.

"Do you know exactly what they have?" I asked her, my voice holding no hope.

She shook her head. "Sunny took their temperatures, its deathly high. They can't hold out much longer, we've been working on Doc the most, so if…when he gets better he can explain to us what…what is happening."

"It'll be fine." I said, mostly trying to convince myself. "We'll just get more medicine and they'll be fine."

"That's the problem." Melanie's voice quivered. "They aren't responded to it."

New tears gathered in my eyes and fell down my cheek. Why?!

"What do you mean?" I cried, how could the world make this more difficult than it already is? Sometimes when you're life is already hell, you're not afraid of dying. Sometimes you _want _to die. Sometimes death is a way to escape the death. Oh great, now I'm suicidal aren't I? No, I refuse to go that way. If I go, I go fighting. No matter what, I will not leave this world without my fight. I will die in rage if I have to.

"It's just…not working. I don't know! It's not working the way it should!" She cried and broke out into sobs again.

"I don't…I don't understand. Is there something wrong with it?"

"Not it," She whispered into her hands. "_Them. _They caught something that can't be treated with these new medicines that those freaking souls have."

I winced slightly at her words, but I knew she didn't mean them directing towards me. You get used to it after a while, having people think badly about souls. I mean, I already know I'm the outcast, the betrayer of all that is right. But that's who I am now, by living with them I already accepted the fact that I'm different, the very cause of their problems.

"We'll think of something." I said desperately. "We have to." Yes we have to, I am not going to let the people who cared for me just die. I will not just sit around and wait for their breathing to stop. No. I'm going to _try. _I can't fail until I try, and I am going to try to the end. Death come if it will, but I am not letting these people die from the faults of kind. I refuse to let the other souls have such a power over them. I will show them. I will prove to the souls that I_ am _strong. That we _can _fight back. They think we're so powerless, well just wait and see.

"I know." Melanie replied hoarsely. Then Sunny opened the tent door and stuck her head in.

"As much as I'd love to willow in sadness with you guys. Blaze woke up, and he's asking, no _demanding _for Wanda."

With that, she left, not a single trace of emotion on her face. Nothing at all, as if she was empty. And actually, I think she is.

Melanie sighed and wiped the tears away. "She hasn't been the same since we found them." She told me. "It's worrying me. She doesn't react the way she use to. She's too high-strung now, she's snappy too. She's trying to be strong, I can see that. She's closing herself off from the Sunny she used to be."

"Things can only get better from here." I whispered, though I really, really, doubted it. "When we lose someone we love, we tend to do that."

"I hope so, Wanda. I really hope so." Melanie answered and walked out of the tent, and I followed behind her. "It's so crazy."

"What's crazy?" I asked her quietly, there are a million of things that are crazy, but I'd take hours to explain them all.

"Haven't you noticed Sunny, you, and I, have lost our love ones? Only in different ways?" The tone to her voice was almost hysterical, as if she was losing it. "Sunny has _no idea _where Kyle is, you, well I think you're the luckiest, Ian is here, but you can't get to him. And me, poor little Melanie, my Jared is _gone, _dead, forever."

Her voice was tight and I saw tears in her eyes, I placed a hand on her shoulder. "If you really think about it." I told her, "You're the luckiest; you _know _that Jared is okay, you _never _have to worry about him anymore. You know that he's fine. And you know you'll get to see him later, when it's your turn in life, and you _know _that he's going to be there waiting for you."

She sniffled, "I don't think we can call any of us lucky."

"That's true." I agreed and began to walked out into the light.

The sun was high in the sky, burning my skin. "Sunny and I will get the stuff ready; meet us at the car in 5 minutes."

"What about Blaze?" I asked, not wanting to leave him here alone.

"He's welcome to come to, as long as he can keep his mouth shut." She shrugged and walked away.

I huffed and started my way over to the tent where Blaze was. I pulled the zipper down and walked inside, Blaze was lying on the ground staring at the roof of the tent. He didn't even move when I entered, he was unresponsive, and this scared me greatly.

"That was Sunny wasn't it?" Blaze asked without looking at me. "The one who hit me."

I laughed awkwardly and sat down next to him. "Yes, and Melanie was the other one."

He nodded but still didn't look at me. "I remember them for Ian's memories."

I nodded mutely and stared at my hands. "We're going on raid now, to get the things we need. Would you like to come?"

"You're going to get the things you need to get me out of here aren't you? My new host too?" He asked, ignoring my question. A felt a blade go through my heart at his sad sharp tone, obviously in pain.

"Yes." I whispered, blush spreading through my cheeks.

"Why do you bother?" He asked me suddenly, his voice tight. "Just get me out of here, I don't need a host. Just kill me."

My eyes widened and the pain in my heart grew stronger. "Don't talk like that! You are _not _going to kill yourself to do you understand me?"

"It will be too much trouble anyways. Just get what you need, get me out, get the other better, you'll have you're Ian, I won't matter."

I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off. "Don't lie to me Wanderer. You want your Ian, nothing more."

I shut my mouth quickly. "You are a part of my family. And I don't give up on family. You belong here. And I want you here. I'm not doing this just for Ian; I'm doing this for you as well."

He snorted and still didn't meet my eyes. "Please," He scoffed, "I mean nothing, and I am nothing more than an intruder to your perfect little world."

"Perfect?" I exclaimed, suddenly hysterical. "My world is far from perfect."

"You understand, though." He said, "You asked to die too."

The memory caught up with me, I don't remember _well _because it was Melanie's body, but I still do, slightly. I asked Doc to kill me, instead he put me into a host, and introduced me to this beautiful life, the life that now turned into a black hole of no return.

"Yes, but they didn't listen to me did they? And I'm glad they didn't, and one day you'll be glad I didn't either."

He laughed, "I don't think I ever will. Really, Wanderer. Do you _like _torturing me? It will only be harder if I am in a different host."

"No," I protested, "I don't think it will. See when I was in Melanie's body-"

"Yes I know." He hissed, interrupting me with his frightening tone. And I saw him wince slightly, no doubt getting a scolding from Ian. "You're feelings magically changed from Jared to the tremendous Ian O'shea. Love and lust, that whole bit. Well I know what love is, Wanderer."

"Not yet," I whispered quietly so he didn't heart. "I was once an intruder too." I said my voice faintly stronger. I turned his face towards me, and my eyes met his. "I used to be the intruder." I repeated, "I use to be the outcast. Thinking everyone hated me."

He stared at my painfully and it hurt so much…he was still Ian, he looked like Ian…and to see Ian in such pain…even if it isn't him, is still unbearable.

"But look where I am now. People were nice to me; they weren't the monsters I thought they were. You are family Blaze. As much as you can think otherwise it won't change the fact. Think what you must, but I know the truth. We are _all _intruders, Blaze. Both you and I. We are souls, we have no right to take their earth, but at least we're on the right side. At least we have people who care about us."

His tortured expression slowly softened and he sighed. "I don't want to go either way." He said quietly.

"Will you be okay here on your own?" I asked him.

"Yes," He replied, "I need time to think either way."

I nodded and stood quickly. I turned towards him before I left.

"Bye, Ian and Blaze." I whispered and then left them to their thoughts. I keep referring to them as Blaze, but Ian is there too. My precious Ian is there too, I cannot forget that. He needs to know that I think about him too. That I love him.

With that, I left them to their thoughts.

**Blaze's POV.**

"Bye, Ian and Blaze." Wanderer whispered and disappeared.

Ian and Blaze.

Are we referred to as two people now? As far as I knew, I thought I was Blaze.

Wanderer…she is so kind, so beautiful all the things I know I can never find anywhere else. She is the woman I love, and I can't do anything about it.

I don't choose who I fall in love with, I mean, who exactly does pick who we fall in love with? Some mighty force? Some God who chooses our path in life? I don't believe in that. But really, I didn't pick her randomly, going 'oh there the girl I'm going to fall in love with' no, she was something that came to me. Something I can't even explain. But I just love her.

"_It'll pass soon." Ian said, "It's just the body that reacts the way it does." _

"_I doubt it." I whispered back._

"_It's true though." Ian persisted, "Wanderer felt the same way for Jared but they didn't end up together."_

"_I know that." I hissed, "But this is something deeper, I can feel it."_

"_No matter _what _you feel," Ian growled, "It will not change anything, Blaze. Remember that, she is mine. Do not torture yourself further, Blaze. I care for you as a brother, but stop messing with my wife." _

_Ian laughed without humour. "Wife?" I asked, almost repulsed._

"_Well…" Ian answered, "Not yet."_

That was all I could bear, my heart could only manage so much. I shut my eyes and tried to zone out of this world. Trying to sleep again even though I wasn't tired. Sleep is my escape to pain, where I can zone out of my body and just float. At least…that's what I used to think. Before all my dreams are filled about her. Sometimes both my dreams and reality torture me to a point where I can't stand it.

When will I ever escape this twisted fate?

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**There's you long awaited chapter, sorry again. Anyways, I have a question for everyone! Just a show of hands, how many people want me to bring Jared back? Because I'm really not planning to, it would mess up the whole story, but maybe…just maybe if you guys really want me to I can. But…gah. Just give me your opinion. **


	14. Chapter 13

**Thank you for all the pretty reviews! (I love the long ones) I just need to answer a few questions…**

**Q: Why are the souls in this story so violent? **

**A: I am ****obliviously**** not Stephenie, so I can't really follow by the 'rules' she set for this story. After all it is fanfiction. Basically forget the whole 'souls are friends' deal, what I'm trying to do is not make souls **_**in general **_**evil characters, just the Seekers. I know that first bit to the story seemed too violent to be true, but hey, it's my story and I'm not Stephenie, if you want the real thing, read the book. **

**Q: Why are so many characters OOC?**

**A: Stephenie gets full credit for creating the characters, I altered most of their personalities because I need it to click in my story. But really, if you were stuck in their position, wouldn't you be a bit crazy too? **

**Q: Why does Blaze only center himself on Wanda and himself? Can't he care about the others?**

**A: I know in The Host, Wanda was able to care for the other humans, like Jamie and such, rather than just **_**Jared. **_**Well, honestly. I didn't look deeply into that topic, what I wanted to focus on was the angst between Wanderer and Blaze, featuring Ian. I'm going to try to go deeper into that…somehow. **

**Q: How did Blaze hate himself so quickly?**

**A: I realize that Blaze should be another oblivious soul, and you know, go on living their little soul lives. But the key is **_**Ian.**_** He already lived through that situation, therefore has the common knowledge. I don't know if I mention it a lot in my story, but Ian somewhat **_**tortured **_**Blaze. I purposely tried to portray Blaze's character as something close to 'self centered' I'm trying to make his character something like Chuck is from Gossip Girl, you know, dark, eerie, mysterious, yet entices you at the same time. Then I added my own personal flavours…hahah confusing. **

**Honestly, I like Blaze. I have a connection with him! Haha! Because he's the only character I created. Also, I know I have so many spelling and punctuation error. I absolutely **_**suck**_** at checking my work. I could reread it over and over, and find nothing wrong. I'm going to try something new though, hopefully it will help. **

**I am, and will continue to update late. Throw what you want! It won't change anything! Its not my fault though, I'm jam packed. Moving, exams, studying, homework, after school stuff, and I'm majorly behind in school, but it's not like I'm going to change that anytime soon. **

**Last Chapter (Ch12)**

_That was all I could bear, my heart could only manage so much. I shut my eyes and tried to zone out of this world. Trying to sleep again even though I wasn't tired. Sleep is my escape to pain, where I can zone out of my body and just float. At least…that's what I used to think. Before all my dreams are filled about her. Sometimes both my dreams and reality torture me to a point where I can't stand it._

_When will I ever escape this twisted fate?_

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**Wanda's POV**

"I say we get a Healer." Sunny's monotone voice said. Her eyes staring at me with that dull shine.

"I don't know if he'd really want a Healer, you know with the memories and all." I said slowly as we drove in the car.

"Tell him to suck it up. We need a Healer so we can get the others better. I'm not going to lose them because some bratty soul shows up." She snapped at me, her cheeks blazing red.

"I never said I didn't consider it." I amended softly, blushing. Melanie was right, Sunny wasn't herself. She was rude, she was obnoxious, and a flat out bitch. Melanie said that we should change her name to Tropical Storm, rather than Sunny. And now, I can't help but agree.

She glared at me and turned away, slouching in her seat.

"Let's try the hospital in the next town, that way we can get more medicine and catch a Healer." Melanie suggested from the back seat, her hair tumbling over her shoulders.

"I say we get a girl." Sunny said sarcastically, the first sign of emotion other than anger.

"I'm not getting Blaze a girl, Sunny." I rolled my eyes and kept to the speed limit.

"I'm just saying girls are more patience." She said again in that flat voice. Then she must be of the male gender I suppose, haha I'm so funny. I think the heart is getting to me.

"Blaze isn't patient, whatsoever." I mumbled and made a left into the next town.

"More reasons to get a girl." Sunny muttered and turned away again.

I sighed and made no comment. Life is a bitch. None of us are acting like ourselves; none of us can say that we are the same as we were when we lived back in the caves. We've all changed, some more than others. I really can't say I'm the same sweet, loving, innocent, Wanderer from back at the caves. The girl who thought her life was so perfect, that she so luckily stumbled upon the man she was meant to be with. That even though she was a soul, somehow in a twisted way, she belonged. This experience has taught me the truth. Open my eyes to what I couldn't see before. I don't belong. Not even a single bit. I'm the odd piece to the puzzle. The kind that you have to force in, the kind that doesn't fit naturally. I am not, and never will be, a human. My body may be human, but I am not. I am of a different kind. The deadly type, the type who have no rights or wrongs.

_Souls are friends. Souls are kind. _That what my life was when I first entered in Melanie's body. But souls _aren't _kind, they _aren't _friends. Though, I have to admit. There are souls who are oblivious to the wrongs in these situations. Souls who don't understand what we're doing. Why? Because that's what we're used to. We are already used to the life where we take different host, where we live among different planets, live different lives. I could be like them. I could be, if it weren't for Melanie.

I'm different because I've lived with humans. I've talked with them, I've cared for them, and I love them. My experience with them has changed me and morphed me into what I am today. The odd one out of the humans and the odd ones out of the souls. Where do I fit in?

"Wanda you missed the exit." Melanie said quietly, her words snapping me back from my thoughts.

"Oh," I muttered pathetically. I twisted around into a U-turn, almost falling into a ditch, where I jerked to a stop.

"Watch where you're going." Sunny snapped at me.

"Sorry." I whispered again and hit on the gas, veering us forward onto the road. I turned into the exit that I missed and found that we were in a small town. I didn't bother asking where, nothing like that mattered anymore. When the lives of love ones are at hand, nothing else matters. Nothing at all.

"There should be a hospital just down the road." Melanie said softly. It seemed as if her voice could not go higher than but a whisper. But I can't blame her, pain effects us all, it makes our voices weak, our sight blurred, our hearts broken.

I saw a tall white building appear from within the heat, a building that automatically sent chills up my spine. As it got larger and larger as we approached it, and as did my fear. I was never fond of these tall buildings, filled with souls who aren't like me. I parked in the parking stall, and unlocked the doors.

"Don't we need an injury?" I whispered to Melanie as we walked slowly towards the automatic doors.

She shook her head. "They're holding a free medical training or something. I read it last time we came here. Sunny will sneak into the back while their occupied."

I nodded and felt my stomach twist in knots. The doors parted way as we approached and Melanie and Sunny entered more graciously than I. The lobby was filled with souls, and I saw Melanie go rigid, a scary position for a human. But I was at home. At home in a place I didn't belong. I don't belong _anywhere._ Not with humans, not with souls. I saw the bright red scar on Melanie's neck, just like mine.

"Don't look anyone in the eye." I whispered to her, "I'll do the talking."

Of course we insisted on leaving Melanie behind but she was persuasive and managed to come with us. A cut on her neck would do for now. The danger of doings this is enormous but she insisted. Sunny looked straight ahead, as if we weren't even here and a Healer strode into the room, a bright smile on her face.

"Welcome everyone!" She exclaimed, smiling proudly. "I am honoured that so many decided to join our introduction class! We'll start off with a quick tour, and then head down to the main lab for further instructions."

There was a murmur of excitement through the crowd and we slowly began to follow her through the hallways of my nightmare. There was so many, no one noticed when Sunny slipped away through an open door, her eyes catching mine for a moment. Melanie's shoulders were tense, and I gripped her hand tightly, telling her it was okay.

"Look at for a reasonable host, Wanda." She reminded me in a low voice. "A Healer."

I nodded slightly and directed my attention to the front. I felt nervous and clammy. My eyes scanned the crowd and noted that most of the crowd was female. I sighed and tried to be calm as we walked through the halls, the words from the Healers mouth never registering in my ears. We were led into a small libratory, where Healers surrounded us with their bright smiling faces, and I tried my best to return them. They gave us a speech on the benefits of being a Healer, their life stories and such. But movement in the corner caught my eye.

A shaggy haired man stumbled into the room; he looked young, maybe around our age with beautiful brown eyes. He smiled at us, but there was something about his smile that was different from the rests, it was warm, true. His eyes suddenly met mine and he smiled wider. A friendly person. Sunny was suddenly at my side, a duffle bag in her possession, and I knew it what it was filled with.

No one could tell what was in her bag, or even that she was missing. I leaned to her and whispered in her ear.

"I think I found our guy." I whispered, and she immediately began to search the crowd. "The Healer." I directed. "In the corner with the shaggy brown hair."

I saw her eyes glaze over and she tensed. I saw he was staring at her too, smiling still. He was a pretty face. Sharp bone structure and a lean body. His brown eyes were warm and bubbly, his hair, falling over his eyes, maybe a few inches taller than Melanie. Just by a single glance at him, you can tell he's sweet; he just has that sweet essence. I think that would be a nice change for Blaze.

"He's cute." She said, blushing. Finally! Emotion!

"He's a Healer too." I added quietly.

"I agree." She whispered, in somewhat a daze. "Good choice."

"Thanks." I replied smugly, and turned my eyes to the front. The Healer's mouth moved but I never heard the words, my mind was fuzzy and excited.

Suddenly, what seemed like hours, there was clapping, and I shook my head and began to clap too. I looked at Melanie from the corner of my eye, and she nodded at me, we headed towards the exit, weaving our way through the crowd. I grabbed Sunny's hand and tugged her along, I was short compared to the rest, but I didn't care, I pushed my way through.

"You snag the bait; we'll wait for you to reel it in." I whispered to Sunny, giving her hand a quick squeeze before letting it go and following after Melanie. We pushed our way through the crowd, almost at the exit where suddenly a Healer stood in front of us, Melanie crashing into her.

She gasped quietly and instantly dropped her eyes to the ground, I felt myself freeze in fright.

"How did you ladies enjoy the program?" She asked brightly, her gray eyes lined with wrinkles. "I hope you two will be returning."

I smiled at her, the best smile I could manage that is. "It was very enlightening, the benefits of a Healer is infinite, a very satisfying passion."

She sighed. "That it is. A beautiful feeling you get. Will you two be signing up for the classes?"

I smiled kindly, and I saw Melanie shift her feet, uncomfortable. "I don't think this is our right path."

"Pity," She shook her head. "We need more help. With all the conflict going on we barely have enough hands."

This surprised me. Souls were never ones to be violent – except the outlaws like myself, and those dreadful Seekers – usually they were all kind.

"Conflicts?" I asked, wide eyed. "What kind of conflicts?"

She looked around for a moment, and then leaned in closer. "Humans. There have been mobs, and fights. The Seekers killed a few of them, but there's still more out there."

My eye sight blurred for a moment, and I wondered which of it was dead. And which of us were on the streets now, hiding. I imagined them hungry, devastated, _hopeless_. But then again, I wonder whose situation is worse. Back at camp we have people who are _dying_, and we can't do anything. We just have to watch the life slowly drip out of them.

"Oh my," I commented, trying to swallow the emotion climbing my throat. "We better get going then. We have a long journey ahead of us."

She smiled at us and nodded, I pulled Melanie out the door. She had tears streaming down her face and wiped at them frantically. We tried to walk casually towards our car, but our tense, shaking shoulders stood out from within the mob. We fell into the seats of the car, our faces blank with shock and fury.

"Who?" She wailed quietly. "Why do I always have to wait to find out who of my _family _is dead!"

She cried loudly into her hands, as I tried to be strong, and hold the tears back. But of course, a few escaped from within my hold. We are so torn. Our family is dying, our family is lost, yet I wonder whose fate is worse. I felt so weak, so helpless, in the situation.

Suddenly a loud knock outside the window drew me back to reality. Sunny waved frantically, her eyes wide, gesturing to an unconscious body below her. I opened the door quickly accidently hitting Sunny in the shin.

"Ow," She commented harshly.

"Sorry." I murmured, and looked down at the man below us. "How in the world, did _you _manage to do this?"

She raised an eyebrow cockily. "Are you questioning my capability?"

"You're not much taller than I am." I stated almost bitterly. **(Is she?)**

"There wasn't much to it actually." She shrugged her shoulders.

I sighed and opened the back door. "Help me get him in."

I looked around and noticed that the parking lot was empty. Have we been crying that long? Sunny and I lifted him in gently. Well I lifted him in gently; Sunny all but threw him in. I shut the door and climbed into the driver's seat, turning the car on.

I veered onto the highway as Melanie commented.

"He's cute."

I stared at her from the corner of my eye, but she only shrugged.

"Just commenting." She said, smiling slightly, wiping the remaining tears. She turned to look at Sunny. "What's his name?"

"Rider of the Stars." She answered lightly. **(AN: Thank you ****Piby Weasley****)**

"Suits him well." Melanie commented. "Do you approve of him, Wanda?"

"I was the one who chose him." I replied, nodding slightly. "I'm sure Blaze wouldn't mind either."

Sunny scoffed and I glared at her through the rear-view mirror, but she only smirked.

"How much did you get?" Melanie asked Sunny.

"Enough," She shrugged. "The bag is full."

Melanie sloughed against her seat, her eyes clouded. "I hope it helps." She said in a weak voice.

"It will," I said softly, my voice cracking. "It has to."

"What if it doesn't?" Melanie insisted, facing me with her teary eyes. "What if it doesn't work? What will we do?"

Tears threatened to spill over, but I ignored them. I have to be strong. I have to pretend. "It will work." I said confidently.

"You don't know that for sure." Sunny said lazily from the back, staring at me through the mirror. "You don't know what you're saying."

I glared at her. "It will."

"It may not." She said, no emotion in her voice. "And if it doesn't. They all die."

Melanie broke out sobbing at her words and I stepped on the brakes angrily, the car jerking to a stop. I twisted in my seat, glowering at Sunny's shocked face.

"What's wrong with you?!" I hissed at her.

"I'm stating a fact." She whispered, her eyes wide.

"Well you're wrong!" I yelled at her angrily. "You're wrong!"

Angry tears spilled in her eyes and she leaned towards me, her fists clenched.

"You know I'm not wrong! You know that our chances are so small! But you don't care!" She screamed at me, her words biting through my skin. "You don't care _anything _other than your poor innocent Ian, trapped in a stupid body! You don`t care that our _family _is out there! Our _family _is dying!

"I don't know where Kyle is." She said, her voice cracking, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I don't know if he's safe. If he's even _alive._ But _you! _You _have _Ian! Your even have Blaze! Have it ever came to you that every time you look at Blaze, and see Ian, that it hurts him? That maybe he has _feelings, _maybe you should give Blaze a chance!"

Tears spilled over, and I stared at her. "How can you say that?" I whispered, hurt making my throat tight. "That's Ian's body."

"Is this my body?" She asked me rhetorically. "Is that yours?"

"No but –"

"It's the way things are." She hissed. "Only Ian is there. But Blaze is there too. He didn't choose this; he didn't want to fall in love with you. Sometimes things just happen."

"When did you _ever _like Blaze?" I yelled furiously. "You never approved of him! Don't you tell me what to do because _you _are the one who's been snapping at me, making things harder than they have to be! You're the one who –"

"Maybe I'm trying to be strong!" She yelled weakly, sobbing into her hand. "Maybe I'm scared."

"We're all scared, Sunny." I whispered irritably.

"Not like I am." She sobbed. "Jared is safe, Melanie. You don't have to worry about him. Ian is _here. _Where's Kyle? W-Where is he? He's not _here! _I don't know what happened to him!"

"It still doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do." I insisted, tears still streaming down my face. "I don't love Blaze."

"I'm not asking you to." She whimpered. "Just stop being so hard on him."

"When was I ever hard on him?!" I yelled angrily.

Her head snapped up, and her tear filled eyes met mine. "Every time you touch him. Every time you smile at him. Every time you say his name."

"You want me to stop being nice to him? Is that what you want?"

"I know what it's like when you're not wanted." She told me brokenly. "Kyle was looking for Jodi. He never wanted me! I'm last minute substitution. Second best. Last resort."

"Blaze loves you, that's all. It's not our fault. Kyle _never _wanted me. He just had to settle for me, but I think maybe, he learned to love me in return. But I'll never know! And all you can do is focus on your little _Ian! _Did it ever occur to you that Blaze is _hurting?" _She cried loudly. "I know what it's like to be unwanted."

I bit my lip as her sobs filled the car. "I can't force myself to love him." I whispered finally.

"I know, I'm sorry." She sobbed and I knew it wasn't about Blaze, nor was it about me. It was about her and Kyle. We're all hurting. We lose ourselves at some point. Her sobs were torturing, tearing through my heart. The sound of my friend, so hurt and lost, it was unbearable. I felt so helpless; I wondered how we could ever escape this. If things will ever get better.

I reached over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder calmly, the tears coming to a stop, but the pain still remaining. "It's not your fault."

"I d-don't know where h-he is!" She cried. "I don't know how I can live without him."

"You can." Melanie spoke softly, her eyes streaming with tears as well. "You can, Sunny."

She lifted her head, their eyes meeting. "How do you know?" She whispered.

"Because he still loves you." She answered, smiling at me. "He's still with you now. At least his love is."

Sunny sniffed and rubbed her eyes. "I guess so."

A moment passed between them and I felt the need to look away. I felt uneasy being here, as if I didn't belong. Sunny had a point. I was hurting Blaze more than I realized, and it's time I stopped. I'll just make this procedure and the feelings will go away once he's in another body, the feelings will just disappear.

Right?

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**I know there are REALLY out of character, oh well, its not the real deal, its **_**fanfiction. **_**Yay! The other characters shall soon make their grand entrance! But who have already been killed? Who are the survivors? Dun dun dun!**

**Okay, this is really embarrassing. This is like the most OBLIVIOUS question I'm going to ask for my little helpers our there: How old is Wanda? Melanie? Sunny? Ian? And it would help if I had the age of the other characters…at least the main ones. **

**Second: PLEASE PLEASE someone describe SUNNY to me! I mean I read the book and I always thought of her as blonde but apparently she's a brunette? True? False? These questions may be really stupid but currently my HOST book is in a freaking box! ALONG WITH THE REST OF MY BOOKS! Which is just driving me CRAZY! (I've just moved)**

**Third: HOW TALL IS MELANIE? Hahah! I mean not the EXACT height but could you please ****put the characters in order from tallest to shortest****? Not ALL the characters, just the main. **

**If these questions could be answered it would be really appreciated! It's hard for me to write when I don't know the details about my characters, so I can't describe them well. And truthfully, I am a bigger twilight fan then the host, so I've probably memorized Twilight by now so I don't need help with the characters, but this one is a bit trickier. **

**By the way, I wrote a really cute Twilight ONE SHOT/SONG-FIC, in my opinion I really like it. It's based on the song What If You? By Joshua Radin. **

**REVIEW!**


	15. Author's Note

**Sorry if you're expecting another chapter. Haha, I'm not THAT fast, besides I gave you that other chapter! Anyways, I'm looking for a beta. Interested anyone? But I don't think of it as a beta, I think of it more as a friend who I can run my chapters over with, discuss ideas, have them proof read my chapters before I publish. **

**I know I've been updating slow, and I decided it's because of my lack of enthusiasm. So I'm hoping that with someone else by my side, giving me their opinions and such, I'd be more motivated to get these chapters going. **

**So if you 1) don't mind that I'm going to ruin the entire story for you when I tell you where I want this to head. 2) ****Has a very, very, good background on correcting and proof reading. ****3) Someone who I can be in constant communication with. (I'll give you my email. Don't worry I don't bite!) 4) And maybe someone who has a background with writing. I mean that's not a big deal, but it would be nice if I could have another writer's opinion on my work. That's not a MAJOR PRORITY, I mean everyone is a writer, we all write at times in our lives. Just maybe someone who writes fanfiction too, if you don't that's fine. **

**I'm a nice person, don't worry, I wont harass you or anything. Also, don't be surprised by my age. Cause when I tell most people, I get a lot of gasps. AND NO I'M NOT SOME 80 YEAR OLD GRANDMA! (sorry if you actually are one.) Nor am I a mother. Keep that in mind. **

**So please! If you're interested, I am more than glad to consider you. Don't be shy! Seriously! But the major thing is that I really need someone who can proof read my story. But it would also be really cool if I had someone I could talk to about my story; I think that would totally help on my updating.**

**Thanks guys!**


	16. Chapter 14

**Well, late update, what did you expect? Either way, thanks to everyone who applied for the beta position. I've chosen a wonderful beta that I'm sure will help improve this story. Unfortunately this chapter isn't updated, due to lack of communication. I figured you guys deserved a chapter, proof read or not. **

**Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me, especially with my lack of updates. I PROMISE, on my life I will update faster. Inspiration has hit!**

**Last Chapter (Ch13)**

_I'll just make this procedure and the feelings will go away once he's in another body, the feelings will just disappear._

_Right? _

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**Blaze's POV**

There are only so many words to describe being transferred into another body. Nerve-racking, tingling, floating…_weird._ My body feels different now. Leaner, somehow, a bit shorter too. I felt my fingers twitch, and someone's hand on my forehead. Yet I couldn't find a way to open my eyes.

But the greatest change of all: _silence._

I didn't hear any Ian in my head. No snappy comebacks, ignorant comments, for the first time, I felt at peace. For the first time, I was alone. I wondered why they didn't just kill me, send me off to some different plant and be done with me. No one wanted me, surely. What help am I anyways? The others are dying, slowly; we hear their cries at night. We can all feel the pain hanging in the air, looming over our shoulders, watching our every move.

Then, there is the other part to their family that still remains a mystery. They are out there somewhere, hiding in the world of souls. And all we can do is simply sit here. Sit and wait to find out who of the family is killed off. I wonder which is worse. Having someone, but you know their dying. Or being totally oblivious to someone's death. A part of me says the second choice is the worse. Because you'll act as if nothing is wrong, while a love one is suffering someone out there, and you are unable and unaware to help them. But as I watched the emotions on Wander's face as she held Jamie's face in her tiny hands, I knew the truth.

I don't know how this whole transfer procedure works. I don't know how I'm able to remember so vividly. Souls were never violent, this world was supposed to be peaceful. But as I feel the adrenaline rush through as just the thought of it, I know this is far from peaceful. For we wait to find out who is the first to die in these tents, and who of their family will be found. We are all awaiting death. Yet, the hard part is, that I can't seem to move. All I can do is think, and so far, it's killing me.

I've been accepted by Wanderer, Melanie, and Sunny – Sunny to some extents – so I should feel like I belong. But I don't. Not only as a soul, but as a member. A member of their family. Wanderer and Sunny are like me, and that eases me somewhat. But they have survived together, they lived together, and they suffer together. Who am I to barge in on that? None the less, I remain where I am, because it's all I have left. Because I feel as if though there is a pull, that keeps me bound to this special group of souls and people. Like I am supposed to be here. Like I actually have a purpose.

Sometimes it's hard to explain why I'm here. I am free, I have the choice to walk away once this is completed and I regain control of my new host. But as I lay here, I know I'm meant to be here. I don't know what kind of force it is, I never had a preference. But as I have spent months here on earth in a body, I begin to wonder who created this mess. I've never been one for a higher being, like some supreme force that decides our paths before we even take the first step. But my experience with these people, seeing through suffering, hearing their cries and argument, I think there could be something more. Maybe things aren't set out for you, but at least planned. Like I'm here because I can help. I know I can, I feel it.

So here I am. I've travelled far, and throughout my lives, I never would have thought I'd end up here in this predicament. Just here, paralyzed and alive in a human body. I cannot move, but I want to badly. It's like a heavy force is holding me down, telling me to stay where I am. I feel myself, I feel the host; I just can't control it. I can feel my eyelids covering my eyes, and I want to open them.

"When will he wake?" A quiet voice whispered.

"It usually is quick, or sometimes it takes a while. It depends on the host." Another voice answered.

"The body is empty." A high pitched voice said. "I made sure of it. It's just Blaze now."

"What about Ian?" The quiet voice inquired again.

There was silence; it rang through the room like a deadly poison. It hung in the air, draping over us all like a looming shadow. The name made my hand twitch. No one noticed.

"He hasn't wakened yet," A voice said quietly, and I detected a hidden sadness in the voice.

"He should have," Someone whispered. "It's been a while."

I heard someone sniff. "I know."

"What's wrong, did we do something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong!" Someone shrieked.

I felt a soft touch on my cheek. "Blaze," Someone whispered. "Please wake up."

**Wanda's POV**

"Please wake up." I whispered, tears cascading down my cheek. He laid motionless on the table, he looked almost dead. I turned my head and saw Ian lying not too far from where Blaze was, and I felt a pain in my chest. I was losing two at the same time. Never have I felt so alone in my life.

I must have done something wrong. Both were showing no signs of life. It was painful. The suspense, the waiting, the constant screams in my head telling me I had killed the two people in the world who dared to love me. I shut my eyes as a tear slipped from the corners, praying that if there really was a God, he'd save an innocent soul, and an innocent human. When I opened my eyes I looked down at my tiny hands, such fragile hands, but all I saw were hands of a murderer. I fell into a chair in the corner of the tent. We had combined two tents together in order to hold both Ian and Blaze.

I remember when everything was normal, and I had gone on raid with Ian, Kyle, and Melanie. We had stayed at a hotel, watched a show about two women who were unable to get their hands dirty. Squealing at the sight of sweat, revolted at the thought of surrendering their perfectly manicured hands to work. They lived a life of luxury, a life where everything was brought to them. I shook my head at their ignorance and egotistical minds. I knew that if they were put into the real world, the world would savagely devour over them. But of course that's too gory to put on TV these days, the whole nonviolent souls cover. I have seen things that will haunt me. I have fought my own kind, spat in their faces, and taunted their nature.

Nothing, no matter what planet we conquer next – though I pray that the next victims will not be as frail – will be immune to imperfection. As souls, we've had our good share of lives. Plant to planet we'd live, never once could anything be able to conquer us. Earth, this fragile little planet, full of humans with soft skin and breakable bones, was able to get under our skin. I looked over at Ian and felt a wave of emotion wash over me. Humans, no matter how strong we souls can claim to be, are able to weaken us. I am but a victim of this. Fallen head over heels for a man, forfeiting my eternity, my immortality. But I do it willingly; I'd give anything, even my own life for this man to have his.

Ian did not move. I stared at him, my eyes bearing into him, piercing through him. I dared him to move, I wanted him to regain his body and return to me. I sat up slowly, moving with timid steps towards Ian, no longer both Ian and Blaze, but just my Ian. Forever to hold in my arms, and eternally mine. I breathed a sigh of relief because I knew that once Blaze awakened his feelings for me would vanish. Like this air it would leave him, just as it did for Jared.

_Jared._

His name nipped at my heart. My brother, my friend, my support, gone. But I cannot mourn for him, because as I told Melanie, he is in a better place. A place I hope I have a chance at, no matter where it is. I reached Ian, and I felt tears brim in my eyes. I exhaled a shaky breath, and slowly reached out and held his face tenderly in my hands.

This was my Ian. The man I love, and cherish. I ran my fingers through his hair softly, relishing at its softness and feeling. I smiled sadly, and shut my eyes. I did not want to open them and find my unresponsive Ian. I squeezed them shut and searched for a better time. I scanned my memories before finally resting upon one.

I always wondered what memories were. I heard it was once said that memories are our only way of time travel. For we lose ourselves to the emotion and time held within our minds. We ran away from the present and dance around in the past with no care. We relive moments we've been through, sometimes painful times and sometimes gleeful ones. I do not know how the beautiful art of memories work, but I'm glad. Though I do have things I never want to see, I also have moments that I never want to lose. My last hold at sanity and peace of mind.

_I tried to reach the bar of soap perched at the top of the ledge that pierced out of the stone walls. I stood on my toes, my fingers only grazing the smooth texture. I narrowed my eyes and reached further, my eyebrows furrowed in concentration. It was unreasonable how incapable I am of doing the smallest responsibilities. Like reaching the bar of soap for example. I sighed in frustration and dropped back into my heels and glared upwards at the impossible task. My lack of height made the world a much more complicated place, also my weak body made my only possible job around these caves, laundry and the occasional cooking. But even laundry was a challenge! Everyone remembered to put the soaps low so I would be able to reach them, but someone so carelessly forgot this time, leaving me to this predicament. _

_I huffed and took the woven basket that sat next to me and turned in upside so I was able to step upon the sturdy side. I stepped up cautiously upon the basket, testing my weight. I knew it was going to holding me, seeming how I weighed very little. I balanced atop of it then tried once more to reach that bar of soap that taunted me. I reached up and grasped my hand around the soap. I grinned victoriously and held the soap firmly in my hand._

"_Wanda?"_

_I cry of surprise escape my lips and I lost my balance, tumbling backwards to the cold hard ground. I braced myself of impact, the soap falling from my hand. _Stupid, tiny, little, unreasonable, body. _I shut my eyes and awaited the sharp pain of the ground when it would collide with my frail body._

_But instead I found myself in large, strong arms. I opened one eye hesitantly and found myself staring at Ian's grinning face. I then opened both eyes and glared at him, my eyes met his icy blue ones and I was lost in the waves. I floated out to sea, losing the security of land. I shook myself out of my daze and narrowed my eyes. He helped me to my feet chuckling softly._

"_You made me fall," I pouted._

_He grinned boldly. "Actually, I think I caught you."_

_I huffed and turned away from him, scanning the ground for the missing bar of soap. Ian place a hand on my shoulder and opened his palm, revealing the soap sitting in his hand. I sighed and reached with my tiny hands to grab the some from his large ones. _

"_Thanks," I muttered and held the soap firmly in my hand, glaring at it. This stupid little soap, the cause to such chaos. _

"_No problem," He said cheerily, obliviously entertained in my mental battle with such a futile object._

_I crouched down by the small stream and proceed my simply task of laundry._

"_More laundry?" Ian remarked in surprise, sitting down next to me as I worked._

"_It's all I'm good for," I said quietly, and tried to focus on my task. _

"_Not _everything,_" He replied, smiling softly. His boyish grin sent free the butterflies in my stomach and I bit my lip. He reached out tenderly and stroked my soft cheek. My eyes darted to his, and I was overwhelmed by the emotions held within them. He leaned forward very slowly, his eyes never leaving mine for a moment. I heard him intake a breath, and the clothing fell from my hands, landing in the water with a splash. Our lips hovered just inches away, as if hesitant yet passionate. He shut his eyes and leaned forward to feel the remaining space that made us ache._

_I could almost taste him when a cough came from behind us. We whirled around to find a very amused Melanie and a grinning Jared. My eyes fell towards their entwined hands and I felt happy that my sister was no longer separated by my presence. Melanie gave me knowing look._

"_Well, Wanda. If you didn't want to do the laundry, you certainly didn't have to." She said, grinning. _

_I blushed a furious red, and allowed my blond tendrils of hair to cover my embarrassed face. I heard Ian laugh beside me, and I glared at him, playfully. _

"_N-No," I mumbled and reached in the water to pick up the shirt I had dropped. "I want to."_

_Melanie laughed. "Oh, I'm just teasing. You should have seen both of your faces."_

_With that both she and Jared walked out into another hallway, hand in hand. I stared after them, a certain feeling tugging at my heart. I watched as these two humans loved each other with such passion. I dropped my eyes and bit my lip, turning back to my task. I looked at my reflection in the water. _

_Ian was doing the same, and when he caught my eye in the small stream, he smiled at me. Our reflections were blurred by the rushing water, but I could still make out that one detail that nipped at my heart. I stared at Ian's eyes, so pure, and so innocently beautiful. They pierced through me; they snapped me like a twig. I then turned my attention to my own. Beautiful, sure. But the silver stream that surrounded the pupil screamed at me. It called me a freak, an outsider. I felt tears cloud my eyes as I compared both our eyes. The natural beauty present within Ian's wondrous eyes, and the monstrous imposer in my own. _

"_What's wrong?" Ian said, his husky voice surprised and alarmed. He reached over and wiped a lone tear from my cheek and I turned to look into his eyes. As much as they stunned me, they filled me with pain because it was but a reminder of how I was not right. _

"_Why can't I be normal?" I whispered, my eyes blinking quickly. "It would be so much easier."_

"_You _are_ normal," He answered, but I shot him a look, and he turned sullen. "Maybe not normal, but who is?"_

"_You," I pointed at, and looked away. "Every single human being on earth."_

"_Your human too, Wanderer." He whispered._

_I snorted. "Please," I said sarcastically. "My host may be, I, am not."_

_He messaged his face in frustration. "We already went through this Wanderer."_

_I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off. "I don't want you, ever, ever to be human."_

_I shut my mouth, and stared at him in confusion…and slightly offended. "Why? Wouldn't it be easier? Wouldn't it make us so much more sim-"_

"_If you and I were both normal," He whispered with intensity. "How boring would that be? It's the little imperfections that make you beautiful. Soul or human."_

_I relaxed and felt a sudden rush of love run through me. _Why did he have to be so romantic?_ He grinned with satisfaction and finally leaned forward, pressing his lips against my own._

_I knew then, that even though I didn't fit in, there was one place I always had a home. A place no matter what the circumstances, I had a place reserved from me. _

_As his hands ran through my hair, I glided my hand and placed it where we both knew that home was. Sliding along his shoulders, over his neck, and down his chest, my hand found its destination. Resting just above the thumping and rapid beating that I felt under my touch, like the buzz of a humming bird's wings. My own beat in the same rhythm as his. I found home. _

I opened my eyes and pulled myself out of the memory. I touched my cheek and realized I had tears streaming down my face. I brushed them away with the back of my hand and then looked down upon Ian. What I found stabbed into my heart once more. No change. I turned to look at Blaze, his floppy brown hair falling over his face, still no change. My insides screamed in pain and I returned to my usual seat at the corner of the room, removing my hand from Ian's cheek.

I sank into the chair, and buried my head in my hands. One of the worse pains of all is waiting. The torture of minutes ticking by, life continuing on as you sit and wait. All you can do is hope. I faintly heard the voices of Sunny outside the tent, your quick words but blurs in my ear. I head Melanie respond softly.

"I don't think it's suppose to take this long." Melanie whispered. "It should be quick."

"I don't understand it," Sunny replied. "Why must everything be so complicated?"

"I don't know," Melanie croaked. "Let's go check on the others."

I heard their footsteps fade away, but the wind still carried their voices towards me.

"Should we get Wanda?" Melanie asked.

There was a moment of silence, and I listened intently. "No," Sunny mumbled. "She needs to be there right now."

"It must be so hard," Melanie remarked softly. "It seems like we've hit rock bottom."

"There is no rock bottom for us." Sunny said, "Rather a bottomless hole."

"It never stops does it?"

"Never." Was the answer.

I shut my eyes painfully and tried to drown out their voice. I sobbed into my hands quietly. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shake both of their shoulders and demand they wake up and return to me. Order them to awake and regain life, direct them to hold me so I won't fall apart. So cruel this twisted fate that I live in. Such a horrid life, every single step we take, hoping to regain happiness, leads us further and further away from security and we are lost in this whirl of problems. We are stuck in this hole and instead of going upwards, we are just digging ourselves in deeper.

Is there ever an escape? Freedom from this torturous pain? I imaged my family returning, remarkably showing up at camp. Sunny will have Kyle again, and Melanie will regain her relatives. Those who are on their sickbeds, awaiting death, so close to never opening their eyes again, will get better. And then Ian will open his eyes, and I will looking into them and feel that emotion I have been longing for. Blaze will open his, and we shall be one family once more. Hope is a hard thing to maintain when you are in the midst of desperation. Where everything turns to gray and every sound turns into a bitter scream. Pain that has you on your knees, begging for mercy. I needed for them to awake; I need to see their eyes again. I wanted to talk to Blaze, have him help us with the others since his host was a healer. I want to hold Ian once more, and know that it is _him_ who holds me in return. Then in the middle of my rant, a single voice pierced through the room. Just one voice.

"Wanderer?"

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**Ah ha. So who is it hmm? May I just have a show of hands who wants it to be Ian and who wants it to be Blaze? I'm still torn between who I should awaken. I do miss Ian though. You know Wanderer's memory? The whole too short for soap thing, yup true story. I couldn't reach the damn soap, only the difference is that I didn't have anyone to catch me, just dropped to the ground. I'm 4'11, and Wanda is about…5'4? At least that's what you guys said, if THAT'S short, then what am I? Haha =)**

**So I promise to update quicker! But while you wait, I have created a Two-Shot, which I think, is pretty good. **

**Second Chance****:**

"**That's why Edward, Heaven is giving you a second chance." – Edward is given a second chance at eternity with Bella. Only he will have to make a choice that will forever change Bella's life. Their love is tested. TWO-SHOT. Based in New Moon**

**Please review – at least vote who I should revive hmm? They help me decide faster. **


	17. Chapter 15

**I wasn't that surprised at the numerous demands of Ian, I know we all love him. I may have only received one vote for Blaze. **

**I've changed the summary, simply because the story is taking a different course. **

**New Summary:**

**The untouchable concept of love is the restraint, the chains that hold them back. When thrown into the darkest of nightmares, when will salvation pull through? But the question that burns within them is: where is love, in a world filled with chaos? **

**I've been focusing upon Wanda, Blaze, and Ian, for most of the story. Further into the story, other relationships will progress. ****Excuse the errors this chapter is not proof read, I wanted to get it out ASAP so you guys wouldn't be waiting for too long.**

**Last Chapter (Ch14)**

_Then in the middle of my rant, a single voice pierced through the room. Just one voice. _

"_Wanderer?"_

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**Kyle's POV (gasp!)**

They say humanity is a beautiful thing.

They also say alienisms are the polar opposite. The wrong and the abnormal. My opinion upon this is this: people fear what they do not know – aliens falling into that category. How many, when reaching a dark blasphemy, dare to provoke it? Or simply reach out to it. When stumbling upon an extraterrestrial, a creature not known to man, how many will love it? But I think the degree where we lose ourselves is when the wronging is disguised in the love of an innocent.

So there it is again. That untouchable subject of love. The hosts are the real reason why we love, if people we to see the true forms, the actual aliens, the bond will not be as tight. But seeing how that is not our situation, we must fight against these restraints and bonds.

I glanced around me, under the blazing sun, was those who dared to venture with me. Sweat glistened upon each forehead; tears of determination ran down our cheeks as we trekked through the torturous climate.

We strived upon our determination. We live of it, breathe it, we use it to fill the spaces where our needs aren't met. Us, standing together, we are bonded. Connected through passion and will. We fight, we battle the deaths that pull at our wrists and bite at our feet. We will be victorious when we reach our end. The question we ask is: what do we fight for?

We battle for safety. For the beauty, and all the morals in our world that have been stripped so easily. We battle for those we cannot fight their own. Those who are handed over defenceless and weak into the hands of the enemy. We are losing the world to chaos, losing the judgement of what is right. I have been blinded by this, and I will not be again.

I have seen the wronging and the ferociousness of the enemy. I was taken in too easily before, but it won't ever happen again. I suppose what drew me in, was the innocence. The vulnerability I thought I saw, but really it was all an illusion. Because they are all the same. Cruel, heartless, and violent. It's all they are – after all it's of their nature.

Deception – in my opinion – is the deepest of all sins. Lies that are told straight to a face deserve a one way ticket to hell. Yet where my predicament comes in, is the concept of actions. When one has no intention, no purpose whatsoever, for any harm inflicted, are they just as guilty?

I know they never meant harm, but that doesn't make the sun blaze any less, or fill our canteens with water. They may not have lied to us verbally, but their nature says it all. The way their abnormality infested this planet, seeping like uncontrollable venom.

We, on the other hand, are here to civilize these savages. Tame the wind, and conquer the darkening seas. We must bring clarity, and show what is the correct. They think they're so superior, but reality-wise they are beyond all ignorance and stupidity. But then again, how does one tell if they incorrect, until proven otherwise? We are not trying to be selfish – though sometimes it seems so– but rather we do what we must in order to open eyes.

Sometimes though, I find myself weak, and allow my thoughts to drift. Unconsciously dragging me farther from reality and what is ethical. It's hard to maintain hope in a terrain like ours. Under the sun for numerous hours, striving off of what we managed to pack with us.

But what tears us apart the most, are the nightmares. The memories and flashbacks that persist to taunt us, pulling at our stomachs and nipping at our hearts.

We hear their screams sometimes, their cries for mercy and compassion. The way their eyes would grow wide and tears would cascade down their cheeks. They'd sob, they'd fight, they'd beg. But the worse of them all are the ones who did nothing.

The ones who simply stare at you, betrayal evidential in their eyes, and you find yourself looking down at your hands and wondering how you are able to be such a monster. The silent acceptance of their deaths, no words or cries to their lips. A simple death. But then again, how is death ever to be called simple?

I sometimes feel their arms around me still, grasping on to my arms tightly, trying to prevent me from the unpreventable. But most of all, I remember the blood.

The shower of crimson, a color so beautiful, morphing into the most sickening of all shades. A pool of lives reminding me of the sins these hands have committed. The things we do for justice, never come easy. One would argue against us asking how such violence can be called moral. I am still yet to reach an answer for such questions. But as I look at me nomads around me, the sweat on their faces, the gleam of willpower in their eyes, I know this is why we fight.

Some would say they only show the same courtesy towards another, based on what was shown to them. Eye for eye. You beat me, I'll beat you. But I don't live by that. Though I have the scars that remind every passing moment of the cruelty bestowed on me, I keep that part of me hidden. A secret source infuriating my strength.

Yet, I ask myself, if I have been through such hostility, why do I persist to bring back that unwanted violence towards others? Why do I give others the same fate I have been punished with? I do it not for revenge, nor for self-purity. But rather, I have witnessed my share of lies; I have witnessed my share of love, hope, deaths, and pain. I have nothing more to live for. I have done it all. Gone through every process there is, walked every path paved. What is left for me?

I suppose I am acting upon my independence, somewhat. I know it's not right, but in this world how many things are able to be called right? Right, sits upon the edge of the world. Ready to tip with the faintest of breaths. I only hope to balance out things, in hope not to anger the delicate balance to our world.

"Should we pack up for the evening?" My nomad asked me, his eyes holding weakness and lethargy.

I pitied my teammates, as they are all flesh and bones. "Yes," I answered simply, dropping my gear to the ground.

We set up camp fairly quickly, gathering around our fire. It's hasty to have a large fire blazing, for there is the fear of being spotted. But in the middle of nowhere, our safety is secured. I glanced around at the faces around me, blank and tired. I tried to remember the sacred time of the past. The time of simplicity, and tranquillity. The time where these faces were filled with happiness and everything was easy. A time where love ruled and conquered all.

Then reality came, and bit us in the butt.

Bringing us from our high clouds, tumbling with no safety net towards the unknown territories. Not all of us were lucky enough to land on soft ground.

Sometimes I pretend I hear the sacred sound. That forbidden sound, never to cross our lips again. Laughter. At least, true laughter. One with no restrictions, no regret that hangs drapes over our shoulders, making each word strained and stressed. I pretend to see my family complete. Whole. I pretend that we aren't fighting death each step of the way. I pretend we're safe, we're happy.

But mostly, I simply pretend.

Or at least, I try. But with every failed attempt, comes a reality check. Comes a time where I must once again put on the cold, hard, face I wear continuously. So frequently, that it soon becoming a normal façade. Because that's what we all are. Each child, born and unborn, we are all the same.

Killers. It's all we are. We kill, we slaughter. Anyone who tells you otherwise is still yet to be victimized. Simply because there is no honesty in our world – or very little. We do fight for it, but realistically, how far can we get, until we are all killed off?

I see her face.

Everyone gleam of the sun, reflection of the water, a mirage created by my imagination, I see her everywhere. With every darkened shadow, I see her curly black hair. Every flower blowing in the wind, I see her face. Wide black eyes stare at me while I sleep.

She haunts me, like she haunts her host. I feel her breath on my neck when I lay. I feel her finger tips on my arms when I close my eyes. Sometimes I hear her whispers when I'm alone.

I'm constantly feeling her presence.

But it's wrong. So wrong. Love is forbidden. How can I love someone who has committed the worse of sins? Why must everything be so complicated? How can a killer fall in love with his victim?

I find myself back in her arms, not Jodi, but Sunny. That body will never be Sunny's, yet the body will forever be Sunny in my mind. I can think of no other. It's the host that attracts me to her – I tell myself that constantly. Yet when I think about it, it is the integrity that I am in love with. Her humour and sarcasm has me hanging.

I am torn.

Ripped into pieces, I'm slowly losing insight. I am in the midst of confusion, the greatest of unknown.

Soon my travellers wandered off into their tents, but I remained sitting, staring off into the horizon. The wind blew gently, and I heard her words again.

"_Kyle," _her words blew around me and I shut my eyes.

Tears gathered in my eyes as I drifted in the sweetness of her voice.

"_I miss you, Kyle."_ Her words were strained.

I opened my eyes, and imagined her next to me. Smiling brightly, her wide black eyes, rimmed with silver would stare at me. They'd reach down to the core, and sit there, becoming a part of who I am.

Another breeze danced in the sand, blowing plants.

"_Return to me."_

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I could never return to her again. If I did, I cannot trust my own action, or my family's. We have come to loath these creatures. She is the very reason we fight, why we suffer. The cuts of betrayal run deep, and it was feeds our anger.

I wish to protect her from my violence, yet I yearn for her presence. Two things that can never coexist peacefully.

But I am thankful for the year I've had with here. A year I am able to take with me, an invisible force that pushes me harder. But I would trade all the days on earth, for one more with her.

It's not right to want her like this. But it's inevitable. As if I cannot control it.

I wait for me to awaken. To wake up and realize I have been living in a nightmare the whole time. I'd wake up and find her back in my arms, and realize there is no need for harm. I'd wake up back in the time where I could pretend. Pretend everything was alright, everything was easy.

But as much as I can pinch myself, I will never awake. I am forever damned into this nightmare, where I must battle the greatest power. Love itself.

Never am I resting, because I'm fighting constantly. When I sleep, I battle my nightmares. When I close my eyes I battle within myself, fighting for domination. The wars are never to end; my battles are yet to be won.

I wait for her voice again, but like the wind, it has flown away. Flying off into another land, dancing along shores and ridges, forever lost to freedom. I remember not to lose myself to the beauty that surrounds me, and remember to keep my priorities straight. A sad life it is, but it's the life I must live with.

**Sunny's POV**

"Return to me," I cried softly, and sobbed into my hands.

I stared blurrily at the camp that sat behind me. I saw Melanie wandering around aimlessly, her silhouette one of an angel's. Wanda was still in the tents, refusing to leave her lover's side, and still to this point I wonder who she is referring to.

Yet the persisting emptiness claws inside of me, unleashing a fury of emotions. An emptiness that I have come to know. A constant pain that dwells within me.

The missing presence of someone is enough to kill you.

Wanda and I are both in waiting. Only her destiny is certain while my still remains anonymous. Her love is lying in that very tent, soon to awaken.

While mine on the other hand, could be anywhere. I stared at the setting sun, disappearing from the face of the earth, and felt contented knowing that he too, shared the same sun.

I refuse to believe that he's dead, because if he was, I would know. Because if he were dead, there would be no possibility of me remaining alive as well. How long could one go without a heart? It sounds horrible, ending your life because of another. But I don't think of it as the end, but rather a sacrifice you have given to the one who managed to take possession of your soul.

I pray that he has food, that he's safe. But mostly, that he is able to find even the smallest of happiness is this scary world. I also pray that he's not alone. I glanced back at camp, and felt an overwhelming gratitude towards the people who were there.

I have withdrawn within myself lately. Snapping at those who tried to reach out to me. I started pushing the ones I love away from me, out of fear. I blamed myself for all that was going wrong.

Just me, the world, and a broken dream.

I used to dream of Kyle and I. The forbidden lovers growing more in love. There is Wanda and Ian, the two misfits as well. But they are not as Kyle and I. Ian chose Wanderer, but no one chose me. I am more of an intruder than Wanda is. I was sent away, I was picked last – for a time being I was unwanted.

That time forever remains with me. Even through the times of love, of happiness, I find myself lost back into the swarm of loneliness. A time where I was banished.

It's the worse feeling of all, to be unwanted.

It's the type that eats you alive. Stripping you off all dignity and optimism, leaving you with nothing but false hopes. You believe things too easily, but you're just grateful and go along.

I love Kyle, with every fraction of my soul. But how can he love me, when he never wanted me in the first place? But I suppose, all this is irrelevant now. But that does not make me hope any less for his safety. It is those who hurt you, whom you have to pray for the most. Because it's those who need the most help.

You wonder, sometimes if you can ever truly run out of tears. But I am living proof that that is impossible. I have cried for days now, and I never seem to find an end. My temper has been hectic, my moods swinging.

I feel bad for the pain I am causing Melanie and Wanda, but they have their loves to comfort them. Melanie in spirit, and Wanda in Ian. Then there are the ones who remain asleep in the tents, sweat plastered on their foreheads, warming by the minute. Blaze is supposed to help, after all his host was a Healer.

So maybe there is a chance at redemption. But I'd rather not get caught up in my hopes, because I have learned that not all pulls through, and you find yourself with shattered shards in your hands. Pieces of the dreams you dared to dream of.

"Can I join you?" Melanie asked quietly, and I jumped at the sudden intrusion.

I nodded quickly, and she sat next to me on the sand.

Her dark hair blew in the wind, as she stared with me at the horizon.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked me, and she said it with such delicately, I felt uncomfortable.

"Yes," I murmured.

"Promise you won't think I'm crazy, okay?" She sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

"I'll try." I offered.

"You _must._" She said harshly.

"Okay," I said in a small voice.

She took a deep breath, and prepared herself. Her shoulders slightly slumped, and her eyes fill with an unknown emotion.

"I can hear him," she whispered, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. "He talks to me."

I stared at her, wanting to call her crazy, but finding no words. I knew who she was talking about, we all know. The theory of someone communicating after death seems idiotic, but as I saw the determination and truth in her eyes, it's hard to deny.

"He says he's happy." Her bottom lip quivered. "And he misses me."

She looked away from me, not waiting for a response. "He says he guards over me every day. He promises he won't let anything happen to me." She sobbed quietly. "But he wants me to be happy."

I realized with remorse, that my friend, too, has a shattered dream. I reached out and touched her gently.

"I'm not crazy," she insisted. "Sometimes you just have to believe."

"I believe." I whispered to her, and her eyes met mine. "I believe you."

She smiled wistfully. "He says the world is far more beautiful than we see it. He says we're just blinded by our insecurity. I wish I were with him." Her tears fell faster, and her fact twisted. "When I told him that, he got angry at me, he told me never to want such a thing."

I stared at her, my throat constricted, and my eyes burning. The way she stared at me, with such innocents, with such passion, I realized that even through tears, Melanie remains beautiful. The type of beautiful that has no limits, and I only wished I possess such a natural ability. Her dark eyes stared at me, wide.

For the fifth time in this life, I found myself wishing I was human.

"At first I thought he didn't want me." She continued. "But he insisted that I remain in this world. Because my task is still incomplete. I asked him if his task was complete, and he answered yes. Do you know what his task was?"

Her eyes watered again and I shook my head slowly, gripping her hand.

"To take care of me." She spat out hysterically. "To make sure that I was loved."

She sobbed into my shoulder as I held her. I was small, but at the moment, it didn't seem to matter.

"I then asked him why he had left. And he said he never did." She stuttered into my neck. "He says he's beside me every day, holding my hand."

I was at loss of words, so I bit my lip, as tears silently streamed down my cheeks.

"Wanda wouldn't understand if I told her about this." She told me, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

I knew what she meant instantly. Wanda hadn't lost something like we have. Melanie and I share the pain of loss, and not knowing. We are still yet to accept our ignorance to the situation.

In the moment, as we held each other, and she continued to tell me stories of her and Jared, I felt safe for the first time in a very long time.

Because, pathetically, it is the brokenness that has brought us comfort.

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**Very late update.**

**Get use to it, **_**please.**_** I know, it's horrible, and I apologize. But what I do not appreciate is having people PM me, just so they complain about my lack of updates.**

**I have received a few nasty PMs saying how I am ruining the plot because I'm not updating fast enough – though I don't see the relation between the two. Firstly, I am completely aware that I'm slow, but I have constant commitments coming up, especially since the school year is ending soon. I also have four stories that also need updating.**

**I will update when I can, but I do ****not**** need people flaming me because of it. If you don't like it – hell, stop reading my story. **

**ANYWAYS! Can I be honest? I was going to kill Ian, I swear I was. But for your sakes I didn't. I'm a very sadistic person, this story is so eerie. ALERT: ATF will be under construction, because I'm going to go through all chapters and proof read. I'll be adding things, but not changing the plot whatsoever. I'm simply improving my grammar and punctuation. **

**My god, how long is this AN? Well, just a note, I've entered the Epic T Rated One Shot Contest, just for the fun of it. My one shot is a different style of writing than I'm used to, but I recommend it. **

**Keep the review ****clean,**

**EverlyYours**


	18. Chapter 16

_**Explanation at the end of chapter. **_

**Last Chapter (Ch15)**

**Sunny POV**

_In the moment, as we held each other, and she continued to tell me stories of her and Jared, I felt safe for the first time in a very long time._

_Because, pathetically, it is the brokenness that has brought us comfort. _

_**And…**_

_**Wanda POV**_

_Then in the middle of my rant, a single voice pierced through the room. Just one voice. _

"_Wanderer?"_

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**Ian's POV. (Your long awaited answer to those dreaded questions)**

One time I asked Doc what happens when we're dying. He said that our greatest fears take captive of our hearts, and there is a battle between Heaven and Hell over our body.

I never believe him, until now.

Everything I thought impossible revitalized without warning. Nothing could prepare me for this type of torture. My body was burning; scorched with invisible blue flames that licked at my body, burning from my toes, to my head. I wanted to scream, I wanted to do anything other than lay there immobilized. But an invisible force pushed against my body, a heavy weight set upon me so that I may twitch and wither in pain with no resistance.

I suppose the saying is true then. That you may never judge until placed into the situation yourself. I could watch for countless times, a transfusion of soul, but I would still remain just as unprepared and helpless as I am. I wondered if this was how Lacey felt, perhaps even Candy. Or maybe, just iniquitously, it is I. Perhaps I brought this upon myself, or maybe it's just my twisted fate once more.

Maybe there's something wrong with me. Whether I'm paying for a dept I haven't fulfilled or just another unfortunate life in the midst of chaos, it doesn't lessen the pain.

I've watched humans take back their bodies, raising from the restraints, and blinking back to reality. Silver would banish from their eyes, yet mine remain closed. I tried to open them, but every attempt brought forth the fiery inferno. It nipped at my skin, burning me from the inside out.

I knew I was alone though. Blaze was gone, removed, ridded. Yet I am unable to regain control over what was mine in the beginning.

All I heard was static. A swarm of bees flying closely to my ears. Occasionally, I'd hear a word or two, but it was too muffled to make out anything.

I was falling into the fire. I was sinking, slowly and surely, into a bright horizon of luminosity. I was drowning in flames, choked with heat; I was in the death grip of death. I felt as if I was sitting on the edge of living, the place they call the middle. In front of me, was the line that separated life and death – I was on the center.

I screamed loudly, but no sound escape from my lips. I fought against the darkness, pushing pass these imperceptible chains.

Darkness surrounded me, playing tricks with my mind. Never touching me, but coming close enough for me to feel the coolness of their breath, and the stench of rotting corpses. It toyed with me, grinning wickedly as I squirmed.

I cried out for salvation. An end to this torture. The fire and darkness became one, igniting in a revulsion larger than fear itself.

I felt my throat constrict, tears blinding me. I gasped and sputter, my chest aching with immense displeasure. My entire body vibrated with ache as flames enveloped me to the core.

My insides burned, my stomach locked, and my throat tightened. Breathing became hard, and tears sprang into my closed eyes. I wanted to cry, I wanted to fall to my knees and offer my cuffed hands to Satin's keeper. I wanted an _escape. _I wanted the heavy weights lifted off my shoulder, and this piercing burden banished from my heart.

But I knew I couldn't. For one reason, and one reason only. That faint voice in the background. The one I couldn't make out, but none the less there. The twinkle of bells that radiated through the air. For the locks of hair spun from gold. For silver eyes. If I died, I'd kill her.

My love for her is worth every moment of torture. Her voice kept my fading sanity.

I grunted in pain, my eyes straining to open. I could see her face. In the midst of the fire, I saw every tear that leaked from her eyes. Her gray eyes were clouded and disgruntled, rivers flowing beneath the dark circles. Her lips trembled, soft whimpers escaping every so often. Her hair stuck to her face, her hands clasped around herself. She stared into me, pleading me, taunting me.

She never looked more fragile. Like a china doll, made of glass. Her eyes grew wide, and her lips parted, as a wind blew across her. Shattering her to piecing, sending shards into the air. I cried out in agony fighting against the strong hold it had on me, reaching out to the broken figure.

But by bit, a piece would break off, and flutter off, lost in the dance of spirits. She shook, and cried softly, her eyes losing light. My breath caught in my throat as her eyes met mine once more; they were filled with betrayal and heartbreak.

"Please," She whispered, as she blew into the wind.

I roared in exasperation, the chains tightening around my wrists. She took a step towards me; she was slowly evaporating in front of my eyes. Her eyes never left mine, the gloomy clouds meeting sky.

Fire erupted around us, scorching both her and I. We cried out simultaneously, my cry for her pain and my own. I begged her, I pleaded for her to run, to turn around and escape from hell. But she never once listened, shaking her head with determination, walking on the hot coals with her bare feet.

I watched helplessly as every step she took towards me, broke off another piece of her. Fate acting upon this forbidden love of ours. I fell to my knees and cried loudly, tears dripping off my chin and sizzling to the burning ground.

I felt her hand on my cheek and I met her eyes once more. I whimpered as I saw the pain dancing in them. Her hands trailed down to my bloody wrists cuffed and distorted in bounds. She traced the edges, before taking both firmly in her tiny hands. She grasped them both tightly, causing me to gasp in pain. Without hesitation she ripped them off as if they were paper.

They clattered to the ground before vanishing. Blood flowed back into my hand quickly, and I sighed in relief. I stared at her in shock, rubbing my sore wrists. She strained a smile and kissed my lips softly. I missed that feeling the most. Her soft lips brushing against my own. Even in the midst of my hell, she brought a momentary peace.

"The fire is getting stronger, Ian." She whispered against me.

My hands wound into her hair, pushing her lips harder against mine. I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, tasting blood and tears, but mostly her sweetness. She gasped and turned her head away from me as I began to trail kisses along her tatter neck.

She was barely there, I scarcely felt her in my arms. I looked down at her as she continued to disappear, bit by bit. I held her more tightly, desperate for her touch.

"Ian," She gasped. "It's time for you to go."

But it wasn't. She was wrong, so wrong. I clutched on to her tighter, knowing she wouldn't be able to squirm out of my grip. If this was hell, I'd take it as long as she remains with me. No hell is hell if Wanderer is there.

She pushed away from me, breaking my hold easily. She stood and yanked me up with her. I towered over her but she held me tightly. She pushed me backwards, and I stumbled, shocked by the sudden strength. Behind me, were the blazing flames, blue, red, and orange. Burning with rage and majesty. She pressed her small body against mine until I felt the heat on the back of my neck.

"What are you doing?" I asked, and began to struggle against her. But she held me, pushing me back, pushing me towards pain.

"You have to go." She whispered, not at all unfazed.

I twisted my head around and stared wide eyed at the fire behind me, then stared at her. She pushed me harder, but I didn't struggle, I didn't dare fight against her.

"Why?" I asked my voice breaking.

"Because," She answered, and narrowed her eyes.

She smiled at me, but it was a farewell, a parting smile. She kissed me once more, and with her crumbling hand, shoved me into the blazes just as the earth detonated beneath her. I plunged into the icy hot fire, my eyes widening as she scattered into the air. Her smile disintegrating to nothing, her eyes flickering into oblivion.

The fire chocked around me, enveloping me in a tight grip, but I could felt no pain. The flames that nicked at my skin, brought no alarm, no fear to me sense. All I felt, saw, and heard, was Wanderer. I heard her small voice whispering inside my mind from a depth I wasn't even I aware of. I saw her blooming face, shining with a natural glow. I felt her tiny hands on my arm, her arms wrapping around my large form, and her head pressed up against my chest. I should've smelled burning skin, but instead I smelled her intoxicating scent. Sunshine and undeniably Wanda.

My hell melted into something much greater.

Darkness swirled around me, twisting into a bright crimson red. But I felt nothing. Pain is powerless you want it. Hurt is debilitated into numbness when you accept it. Pain, honestly, is nothing unless your fear fuels it.

Bruises in the shape of _her_ hands branded my chest. Labelling me as her damaged property, placing a warrant on my forehead. I felt the invisible residue of her tears, burning my cheeks. I tasted her lingering breath, sweet and innocent.

Colors whirled around me, blinding me with vibrancy. The crimson grew brighter, devouring every edge of my vision. A ripple ran through it, an ocean of red flowing in the skies above me. I blinked furiously, my eyes burning as if someone had poured alcohol in them. Realization washed over me as the buzzing the humming in my ear cleared and soft sounds of movement filled my hearing. I stared at no crimson sky, but the roof to a tent; flowing as wind threatened its strength.

I stared at first, unbelieving. My heart began to race and my heart shot inside my throat. I clenched and unclenched my fist, the numbness subsiding into a tingle within me. My breath caught in my throat, and I attempted to lift my head. Almost immediately immense pain shot up my spine, on impulse a soft cry fell from my chapped lips. I gripped the side of the table tightly, grasping on to it as if my life depended on it – perhaps it did.

Explosions of pain momentarily erupted as I sat up before fading into tenderness. Stars instantaneously scatter before me, taunting me with the reminders of the flames that I endured. I lifted my head, searching for the burns, expecting the tarnished and blackened skin. But instead I found my pale hand, five fingers and all.

Everything rushed into my at once, my breath, the smell, the sounds, causing me to gasp. Tears cascading down my cheeks, a cry of gratitude falling from my lips. I moved my hand again, and smiled widely. For months of being pushed aside, belittled, and overtaken, this small gesture brought forth a rush of emotion. The feeling on domination and success expanding over my now labouring chest.

I looked around the room, my eyes searching for Wanderer. I froze when my eyes fell upon a figure in the corner. Every nerve within me turned icy cold, my heart hammering in my chest painfully. Pain shot through me once more, but this time it was different. It hurt far worse than any other; it hit the places that the others failed to even reach.

She clutched onto him, latched together like one being. Tears coursed down their cheeks, limbs mangled with the other. He had brown hair that fell into his hazel eyes, very discreetly a silver stream swam somewhere within the pupil, lost somewhere in the puddle of mud. She sobbed into his chest, as he buried his face in her golden locks. Anger burned within me, souring every fibre of my being.

If I had been a stranger, I would have thought them lovers. People who have been separated from each other presence then reunited once more. Hate coursed within me, knowing that _I _should be in the place, and not _him. _

I expected her to run into my arms, joyous and celebrating. I expected her to smile, to cry, to laugh then scold me for taking so long. What I wasn't expecting, though, was this. To be the intruding to the person who belonged to me. To interrupt _their _time when it should be ours.

Anger bubbled to rage, then to fury. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fingers, my knuckles turning white with force. Was he always to replace me? Even when I am my own being?

I cleared my throat loudly, narrowing my eyes. Wanda turned her head from his chest, and looked dazedly to where I seethed. Her eyes clouded over slightly, her eyebrows knitting together. She pulled away from him slightly, her body twisting to mine. The tears increased and smile broke on her face, but I couldn't find the place to return it. My eyes remained on the man who sat holding her protectively, returning my frown.

A moment passed between us. None of us moving, blinking, or even breathing. Wanda sat on his lap, frozen like a deer in headlights, her eyes wide and shocked. Blazed was daring me, tempting the monster out from inside me.

The moment, as quickly as it instigated, closed. Time began again; life inevitably caught up with us again, and proceeded.

She gasped and quickly shoved his arm away, tearing his eyes away from mine. Both he and I watched as she sauntered across the room and jumped into my laps, crying loudly as she wrapped her tiny hands around me – him in agony, I in triumph.

I couldn't move; I couldn't even bring myself to look down at her. I stared at him, accusingly, daring him to speak first. His eyes watched her, eyeing her like some hungry animal, as if he should feel betrayed of my love running to my arms when she never had a place in his.

This man, this _monster_ of a being, I had spent months of labouring with. Months of being dominated to his will, abiding his word as if it were law. Did he wish to stealth his way into the only thing I have left? Take the last remains of my family away from me?

"Ian?" Wanderer's voice whispered, and reluctantly I tore my eyes from his and stared into her misty gray orbs.

"Hi," I whispered in return, smiling softly.

She cried loudly; she clung to me until I could feel her heart beat against my own, beating in rhythm. Her scent overwhelmed me, just as it did before, and I finally embraced her, easily wrapping my large arms around her tiny frame. I buried my face in her hair and breathed in deeply, ignoring that he had done it before I.

"You were gone for so long," she chastised. "I didn't know what to do."

I hushed her gently, stroking her gold hair. "You did everything perfectly."

She laughed in a strangled sob, and kissed my neck gently.

"I missed you so much." She whispered, tightly closing her eyes. "Don't leave me again."

My eyes caught Blaze's once more, and we stared at each other, mutual emotions in our eyes. His jaw was on edge, and his eyes looked unsettled. I was speaking to Wanderer, but the words were for him.

"I'll be here as long as you want me." I vowed, adding more venom than attended.

His nostrils flared slightly, but he kept himself intact. I smirked slightly, and tightened my arms around Wanda.

As if to add to the tension, Sunny entered the tent abruptly.

She stopped in her tracks, and went rigid where she stood. She glanced at the both of us, comprehending our angered expressions, immediately sensing the anxiety in the atmosphere. Her eyes fell down towards Wanda who was still shaking my arms, and then back to my face. She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, as if suggesting something. She studied Blaze's face, the obvious jealousy that emitted from him.

"Well," she rebuked. "This should surely be interesting."

Wanderer's head snapped towards her; forcing a smile and wiping the residual tears from her eyes.

"Where's Melanie?" She inquired quietly.

Sunny's eyes fluttered to hers, before straightening herself. "She's outside…" she cleared her throat. "I'll just go get her." She exited back through the door as quickly as she entered, stumbling on her feet.

Wanda smiled at me, oblivious to the quarrel between Blaze and I. Blaze scoffed and pushed himself upright and onto the ground. I placed Wanda softly next to me, before standing myself.

He towered over me slightly, taller than me by two inches. He opened his mouth to say something, probably something odious or foul but was interrupted by Wanda's bliss.

"Melanie will be so happy to see you." She said and grabbed my hand, steering me towards the exit. She tugged on my hand, but I didn't move until she shot me a look. It was hard to compare her in reality, to the one in my head. How she pushed me over, sending me away to the fire. I followed after her vigilantly, knowing that he was only a step behind us.

I was momentarily blinded by the sudden attack of the sun's rays. I covered my eyes and blinked furiously. I shut my eyes but I still felt the heat against my eye lids.

Wanderer's arms were replaced by someone else's. Unmistakably Melanie's; she was stronger by far, and taller. She held me tightly before releasing me quickly. I opened my eyes to find her staring intently into my eyes, as if accustoming my blue eyes. She smiled widely and hugged me again.

"It's good to have you back." She greeted. "Just don't take as long next time."

I smiled at her, and she returned it naturally. She kissed my cheek gently before walking to where Blaze stood off to the side.

She stuck her arm out, offering her hand to him. He eyed it before taking it into his, shaking her hand firmly. "And it's nice to formally meet you." He gave her a bashful smile, a soft blush flooding his cheeks. "You blush just like Wanda does."

On cue Wander's cheeks turned red and she looked away timidly. Melanie smiled and freed his hand to grip him on the shoulder. "You'll be so much help." Melanie wistfully said.

Jealousy tried to surmount me once more, but I fought it off quickly. Sunny bounded toward us, addressing neither Blaze nor I.

"Do you remember your Healer life?" She hastily inquired Blaze.

"Sunny," Wanda chastised.

"We need to know," she lamented.

"I do," Blaze retorted. "Rider of the Stars was a Healer for over a year."

I cringed slightly at his voice, hearing him speak for the first time. It was smooth, but without a doubt a man's. It was deep, but never much so. Like a smooth talker with multiple woes restraining him.

"Is the…" Sunny broke off. "Is the human still in there?"

Melanie and I grimaced, but remained silent, teeth clamped over our tongues.

"No."

Relief washed over everyone, releasing that breath that we unconsciously held.

So life continued on.

We talked until the sun vanished from view, nestled in the gray clouds. We bid ours goodnights, and thankfully, Melanie announced that Blaze could have his own tent, relieving me from his presence. I watched as he grudgingly made his way into his tent, as Wanda and I slid into ours.

We talked through the night, Wanderer and I. Random things, things that mattered, things that put tears into my eyes, and things that made me laugh. In the end, we fell asleep mid conversation, with her curled to my chest, our hands entwined on her lower abdomen.

You could call us hopelessly in love, but the thing is that there is hope. Love is not blind; someone simply tied a blindfold around its eyes and demanded it to walk. But in that moment, as we drifted to sleep, words slurred and hearts continuing that lullaby, we were vulnerable and so lost within each other.

We ripped off that blindfold, but sometimes, you see horrifying things. Demons and fears. But if our love is real, which I'm sure it is, we'll have each other's strength to lean on.

Like in my vision, Wanderer is the only one who can unbind my hands from the chains, and just like in my vision, only the a Blaze can truly burn me.

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**Inferno = Blaze. Get the connection? Okay, if your interested, at all, for my explanation, please read the below. But if, of course, you're angry with me, and disappointed with the chapter, just continue on with your life.**

**So here's the thing. I know I've left you guys hanging for far too long. But a very close person to me was diagnosed with bipolar. It's a hard time, for him and I, and I do admit I had many opportunities to finish up the chapter, but I simply could not find the strength emotionally to create a different world, when my own is currently out of order. Inspiration may come easy to some people, but mine has been momentarily taken.**

**This chapter isn't the best, and I'm sorry if there's a mourning tone to it. I promise, though, to try harder, but what I ask in return, is for your prayers. It's a hard time for me, and I could use a bit of your strength. **

**EverlyYours**


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